Last Letter

Dad,

I don't really know how to start this, but I need to tell you a few things.

My handwriting was an exact match to how I used to write, back when I was human. The unnecessary sloppiness annoyed my OCD a little, but I knew it was necessary. A choked, tearless sob left my throat as I leaned over the yellow notepad in my lap, if I were still human I would've started crying the second I began this. It was probably for the best this way, if there were tear stains on this it would make Charlie sad. The couch in Edyth's room smelled of her, which helped, but I'd asked her to give me some time to myself for a reason. I needed to do this right, so no distractions.

First of all, I'm sorry. I know you love me, and I love you. I didn't mean what I said. Any of it.

That was the most important part of this letter, I needed to help Charlie move on, and this was the best way.

I know I promised to call, but I think I'll break the ice this way. When you get this, give me a call. I hope you're willing to give me a second chance. Now that I've had time to think, I've realized that I overreacted. Forks isn't that bad. I'm not mad at you, and I hope soon you won't be mad at me either. I know I hurt you, I'm sorry.

Now for the hard part. This had to sound like this was the last letter I wrote. Like I expected to see him again.

I'll stay at moms, so just call me there. I'll pick up, I promise. Tell Edyth that I'm sorry, and try to be on your best behavior, I really do like her.

That was a little selfish, but I wanted Charlie to come to Edyth when he was feeling better. Give me a chance to know for sure he was okay. Even if I couldn't see him face-to-face.

If you don't want me around for awhile, I'll understand, but let Bonnie and the girls on the reservation make you dinner. I don't want you burning down the house, or moping around it either. Stay in contact with your friends.

Hopefully that would be enough to keep him from pulling away from his friends on the reservation. I'd asked Bonnie to take care of him, and this was a way to help her do that.

I'm sorry, again.

Love, Beau

The 'Love Beau' part at the end sounded a bit sappy, but I couldn't bring myself to change it. Ripping the paper out of the notepad, I folded it and put it in an envelope addressed to my father. Edyth promised to slip it in his mail box, as if it were sent before my death and was only just reaching him now. Sticking a colorful stamp on the corner I took a deep, ragged breath before standing up and making my way to the living room where Edyth was at. It was time to really begin my new life, and let the chips fall where they may.