The day in the life of a sad teen

I sit in my bedroom, face buried in one of many suicide notes that I've been writing. The note stained with tears, and emotion. I look down at the paper and look at what I had written in my angst "dear, whoever cares enough to read. I am obviously dead now. No one stopped me and no one cared. This means you are now reading this note. For the past years I have been plegged with clinical depression and constant bullying. My home life is complete shit. You now see my body lying dead next to a bottle of pills. Don't blame yourself and don't feel bad. I'm better off now. - sincerely Echo

Reading the note I realize how shitty it truly is so I tear it up and throw it in the trash along with the hundreds of other notes. I don't ever think I will kill myself but I think about it constantly. Funny right? When I was little I was full of such joy. Such motivation. Now I am just a limp corpse of what I use to be. Faking a smile daily telling everybody I'm ok. But I'm truly not. I try not to think of my life as not so bad, seeing how bad others are. I look at my father a man who has this depression. A kind where no one can really see it but an angry hidden away kind where sometimes out of the anger in his own heart, anger at his own self he snaps. I see my sister who had no other source of happiness than to waste her days away swallowing prescription drugs that weren't prescribed to her and drowning out the sorrows in smoke and injections. And loving the buzz so much it took over her life. I see in my mind my mother telling me stories of how she has legally died several times and everyone is now just waiting for her to die. Or maybe my brother. Who without the love of his life would probably be dead. They had been dating for 13 long years when one day she said, she could never love a man who couldn't support a family let alone himself. She left in a blink of an eye leaving him to sit and dream away the days with depressive thoughts. Of course she came back and he ended up fine. But as for my sister and father. Everyone can see the broken Pieces. Everyone can see the tears that don't fall. Everyone tries to put the pieces back together. But they don't want they help they offer at all.