Loving My Shrink(Harry Styles Fan-Fic)

Chapter 1

"I'm serious,I don't need to be here,I'm fine."I mumbled under my breath while Melissa rolled her eyes,turning another page of her magazine.

"You have issues,and I obviously can't help."Melissa snapped and I slumped in my seat,pouting.

Great,I'm in a picture perfect waiting room with a model as a secretary and I need to speak to somebody about my supposed  "problems."What did I get myself into?

*FLASHBACK* *5 DAYS AGO*

What's wrong with me?Why is it me?Why is all the bad luck pushed onto me?Why did I get rejected?Why am I so ugly?Why don't my parents want me?Why can't I just talk to people?Why don't I have friends?Is it because I'm fat?Is it because my face is ugly?Is it because my parents didn't want me?Is it because I was rejected?Am I always going to rejected?I'm so worthless.Nobody wants me.I don't have friends,I don't have parents,Charles didn't give a crap about me,ever.Melissa took me in for pity.I'm a burden to everybody.I blind people with my ugliness.I'm just wasting oxygen.I'm not doing anything good for the world,why do I need to be here?Was I put on this planet to suffer?Why am I always rejected?Why?Why?Why?Why?

"SHUT UP!"I screamed at the top of my lungs;I gripped my stomach tightly and fell onto my bed,sobbing and trying to breath at the same time.

It's been so long since the last time I had cut.It's been so long.I was so happy.Why do I feel this way now?Do I need to get on happy pills again?Am I that messed up?I don't have a place in this world.

"You'll never be useful or good in your life unless you become a little whore.If you're not gonna be a little slut the only good you can accomplish is killing yourself."

Charles is wise.He's smart.He is right.

I picked myself up,refusing to look in the mirror to remind myself how broken I am.I walked into the hallway bathroom and sighed.I faced myself in the mirror.I stood there for what felt like hours,just looking at myself.I wasn't thinking and it felt as if time wasn't moving.I don't even remember if I was blinking or not.

I finally teared my eyes away and opened the cabinet,taking out a disposable razor and taking off the plastic covering.I stripped away my pants and looked at my old scars.Without thinking I slashed the my skin.It was like a reflex at this point.I didn't think,I just bled.I bled freely,without worry.Nothing else mattered,just my blood dripping onto the white tiles.

I heard the bathroom door open but I paid no mind to it.My focus was on my blood.Nothing could tear me away from it.

"ROSE!WHAT THE FUCK?"I heard Melissa yell and didn't stop,I just cut deeper and harder,hoping that I could bleed out before she took the razor away from me.

The razor was snatched from my hand and thrown across the bathroom,breaking in half.Such a flimsy thing is going to be the cause of my death.I can't even kill myself correctly.Pathetic.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Ok,so I didn't die.I kind of wish I had because now I'm stuck in this waiting room that smells like expensive cologne and... hand sanitizer?

"Vicardo,Rose?"Another woman came out from a side door and she looked like a model as well.Is this a set up?

"Do you want me to come in with you?"Melissa asked and I nodded like a little kid.

We walked up to the assistant and she gave us a fake smile,which made me feel unwelcome and as if she was saying:"Oh I'm secretly judging you because you have psychological issues."

Melissa and I walked into a huge office.The walls were made of brown oak bookshelves.The floor was hardwood so you could hear everywhere the assistant was going in her bright red heels.In the back there was a huge desk with paperwork strewn over it.About 10 feet away from the desks were brown leather couches and forest green chairs.The perfect square was completed with a huge brown leather recliner.

All of a sudden I started coughing.I smelled the air and it smelt dusty and smokey.

"Mr.Styles,your next patient is here,and don't forget about me after her."The assistant said quite seductively.And patient?That doesn't make me seem welcome at all.

The room wasn't lit very well so at first I didn't notice the mop of curly brown hair in the far corner.He winked at the assistant before she left and then his eyes moved to mine.He had emerald eyes.The kind that captivates you in time.He was wearing a suit for some reason,but I wasn't complaining,he looked good in it.But the cigarette in his hand was a complete turn off.It didn't help that there were no windows in here either.

He took one last long drag and dropped the cigarette to the beautiful hardwood floor.He stepped on it lightly and only took a few strides to reach Melissa and I.His tall figure had to look down on Melissa and I.

"Hello,how may I help you beautiful ladies?"He said with an English accent which I thought he was faking for a split second.Melissa seemed as if she was in a trance already.

"Hi,I'm Melissa,this is Rose.Rose wanted me to come in here with her because she feels like she doesn't need to be here."Melissa explained and I knew she wasn't going to mention any of my "problems."

"That's because I don't."I mumbled and Melissa nudged me.

"What's your relation to Rose?"The psychologist asked only Melissa but I was ok with that.The less talking I had to do,the better.

"I am her guardian."Melissa smiled,I knew she was trying to score a date for Friday night but this guy doesn't even look like he's allowed to drink yet.But I do see rows of Vodka and Whiskey,hard alcohols,lined up on the bookshelves.Did he think that nobody would noticed that he replaced some of the shelves for liquor?

"Nonsense,I thought you had to be 18 to be a legal guardian?"The psychologist flirted and I almost scoffed.

"Thank you,but I'm well over 18,I'm 30."Melissa chuckled and the psychologist faked a shocked impression.Melissa is actually 38,so I don't know why she is lying this much,especially when she has a 16 year old son at home.

"Oh my god,I swear that you don't look a day over 18.But it's ok,I'm into older woman."The psychiatrist smirked and Melissa smiled.I rolled my eyes and sat on one of the couches,waiting for this session to be over.

                                                                                           *  *  *

"Mr.Styles,I'm ready for my appointment."The assistant came in,without warning.Melissa actually seemed pretty angry that the assistant came in so abruptly but I'm sure Mr.Styles over here loved all the attention he was getting.

I literally didn't talk about my issues at all,Melissa just flirted and talked to him.Maybe this isn't such a bad idea.I'm pretty sure Melissa has his number or vice versa.I wouldn't be surprised if I turned around and they were making out.

I got up and looked at Mr.Styles to see that he was already watched me.He smirked and winked at me and I, without realizing how rude it was,faked the gagging sound.He frowned at me and I shrugged,he was a huge jerk and a flirt,his ego needs to be hurt a little.

Thank god Melissa didn't see me do that,she would have a fit.She walked out of that office strutting herself.And I couldn't help but wonder why everyone in the waiting room were girls in scandalous clothing who looked like literal models.I guess he has a type of patients he specializes in.Models.Which is definitely not me.