It's like nobody cares. I've felt like, if I died tomorrow, would anyone know. Or even care to show remorse? I know Brooke and Maddie would be my BFFS, but are they really?! We haven't talked in months! My thoughts just tear me apart day after day, I shed a tear while others party until they pass out from being on cloud nine. I Always feel like o have to show an impression towards other people to make them think I'm great. When I'm really not. I always feel better when I'm making people happy. Then I forget my own happiness. My family doesn't care, it's torn apart. They don't know what happened between me and my college professor, and what happened at that college party I snuck into. My parents fight constantly. The don't talk to eachother for days at a time. People tear me down, whenever they can. They think I'm the happiest person. I remember the time a girl said "I wonder what a life within (my name) is like. She laughed and thought that I was always happy. Really, I am sad, and I'm nice to everyone basically. Nobody wants to be close to me anymore. You've heard this story most of the time. But, when it ends tragically, you're now concerned. Why weren't you willing to help when I asked you. You made up excuses after excuses when I need you the most. And now you're "regretting" it. Wow. So thoughtful? No. I've always spent time on you, and you don't want to do anything with me. And you go with your stoner friends and basically get stoned. While I text and call you constantly. Until I made my decision. My last words were "goodbye" in response you just said whatever. I decided to "pull the plug" "cut the cord" . I went for the place where I was happiest, and conducted my own death. I took some 20 pills and drank some bleach with it. And had the rope by the river. And lights out. Days at a time my parents finally found me in the backyard. They called the police and did an autopsy. They found out I was dead for 7 Days. You texted for hours and hours asking for MY help. When I was dead. You spammed and spammed. My mom told you to come over and break the news to you. You knew my passcode and my parents saw the texts, and the pictures and the wallpaper. The cutting wallpaper of my wrists. They bright red stings your eyes as you stare deeply into my blood. Fast forward to the funeral. Barely 15 people showed up. And it was a public viewing and funeral. You could see the rope marks on my neck from the rope. People rubbed their hands across my scars on my wrists and you sat in the back. Now being sorry. Now you are sorry. When it's too late to say it. You never thought you would see me in the Carmel brown casket, this early in my life. But, now I am. You saw them place me in the ground. You dropped a rose into the hole were my carcass was buried. And you were, the cause. It may seem cruel, but you were the only one that I gave all my trust in, had most of my secrets, and basically knew me by the book. But you decided I was too old for you or something....goodbye
WARNING STATEMENT
This isn't a real story obviously, but. This goes out to people anywhere with any problems. You are loved, some out there will care and they love you whole-heartedly. That person that you may trust, and they don't have your back. Even though you have theirs, isn't worth your tears. Worth your time basically. There is always someone out there willing to listen and try to help you deal with the problem. Just know, we can all go at anytime. So when someone needs that desperate help, help them and don't put it aside for tomorrow. Because, they might not be here the next day. ❤️
