i draw a bit more. actually.

Hey, its me Hannah.

Hi there.
It's me. You may not remember me, or ever care much, but I'm back now.

I guess I owe at least an explanation to you guys so here goes...

You all may recall I was (and might I add, still am) in a state of severe art block. I had made the decision to leave wattpad for a month or two to just get back into my groove, so to speak. Probably a couple of weeks after that, I had my phone taken away and yknow what? Just got it back yesterday.

What happened between those months really changed my life, quite a bit honestly. To start, after I got my phone taken away, I only drew twice. Two things. That's it. Please don't expect a spam post of drawings because frankly I don't have any to post. Now I'll get into the emotionally draining part, which stems a while back.

For the past few months, there had been a lot of... Tension. In my "friend" group. I had, a... Weird relationship with one individual in particular with turned quite nasty. I didn't realize how toxic this person was until 3 weeks after I had my phone taken away. For three weeks I cried myself to sleep every night, for apparently no reason. But looking back, it was quite possibly months of confusion, anger, denial and sadness coming out. The following week I tried cutting people who were bringing me down out of my life, and for a most part it actually worked. I reduced a group of twenty/thirty people to about... 4-6 honestly. I didn't realize it, but I was being emotionally manipulated, and tugged around by this person, and I have them so much power over me. Probably... Two? Weeks ago we were on the phone and I upfront confronted them about it. We had our biggest argument ever. And that's saying a lot. For six months straight every time we spoke we started a fight. But this one was our last. I'm making better decisions now, spending time with family, I'm writing stories, playing ukulele, working out, hanging out with positive/smart/kindhearted genuine people and for once, I feel... Free. I'm actually genuinely happy. That person made me cry so many times, and I made myself powerless. I gave them so much sway in my life when really, they don't matter to me. This is the first time I've thought about them in weeks. I don't know what delusion I had, I honest to god at one point thought I loved them. I thought they were the best person in the world. But whatever I was on it should be illegal. It was such a... Damaging fantasy. They are the opposite of the perfection I thought they were. I genuinely had convinced myself they were kind, they could change. But then I woke up, more so fell flat on my face. I feel like I'm looking at life from a new perspective now, one where I'm not surrounded by negativity, insults and drama.

Guys, don't ever let anyone overpower you like that. Realize if people are impacting you on a good way or not. And if they are a negative force in your life, cut them out. Especially if they throw their weight around, or manipulate you in ANY way. Once you cut them out...It's so... Freeing. You don't know what it feels like. It's like this raincloud of sorrow, this heavy weight, has just crumbled away. I'm starting this year new. I'm cutting my hair (which is almost at my butt) to my collar bones, dying it, and am going to try harder in school.I even plan on joining my schools track team. Even near the end of school when I started making these good decisions, my grades went from really good, to really friggin great. I won three awards this year. ( fine arts, visual arts and one in physical education) I hold the fastest time for a 5 Kilometre run in girls year 8, 9 and 10. I can accomplish so much, I've always been aware that once I put my mind to it, I CAN AND WILL (I'm training myself to become ambidextrous) do it...and honestly, I don't know why I've let people hold me back, drag me down to their level.

But this time, this year, I'm going to change.

Change is good guys. It's unavoidable.
Might as well accept it:)
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If you actually read all that well... Thank you. Honestly these past few months have taken a toll on me and I'm working to better myself in every way, find a balance.

So a few announcements;

1. IM CHANGING MY USER TO
@hey_hannah

2.YOU MIGHT'VE NOTICED I CHANGED MY BOOK COVERS/TITLES TOO. Yeah that's new XD

3. Please don't be mad at me for the lack of art. Honestly I'm re learning how to draw. I haven't picked up a pencil in months.

4. I may be getting Instagram...?

5. I honestly want to start a YouTube.

6. I've missed you guys.

I really have. So much. I can't even begin to thank you for the 2k, even AFTER I was away for so long...

I honestly love you all.

-Hannah☆