Implicit Demand For Proof/Fall Away

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Implicit Demand For Proof:

"I know you're not a liar and I know you could set fire this day. Go ahead and make me look away. Strike me down I am calling your lightning down from your dark hiding place. Reign down and destroy me"
This is Johnny begging for proof of God's existence. He wants things like destruction and pain just to believe that God is real. He also refers to Heaven as a "dark hiding place". He sees heaven as a place where God hides from him. An excuse to offer no proof of his existence.

"I mean no disrespect, I am simply very perplexed by your ways. Why won't you let us use your name?"
It's fairly well known that nobody knows God's true name, only his titles.

Fall Away:

"I don't wanna fall, fall away. I'll keep the lights on in this place. Because I don't wanna fall, fall away"
Even though Johnny is in a dark place mentally, he wants to "keep the lights on"

"I disguise and I will lie and I will take my precious time, as the days melt away as I stand in line and I die as I wait, as I wait on my crime and I'll try to delay what you make of my life, but I don't want your way, I want mine"
He's disguising himself as someone he's not. He lies about who he is to ensure others not question him. The line, "I die as I wait, as I wait on my crime" is referring to how he can wait all his life to find purpose but die before he gets the chance to.

"I'm dying and I'm trying, but believe me, I'm fine, but I'm lying, I'm so very far from fine"
      Once again, he's lying about how he's doing mentally.

"I can feel the pull begin. Feel my conscience wearing thin and my skin, it will start to break up and fall apart"
Johnny is at a point where there is no difference in physical pain and mental pain, as explained here. He feels like he's being ripped apart. Depression, we presume, is tugging and pulling at him relentlessly.

"Every time I feel selfish ambition is taking my vision and my crime is my sentence, repentance is taking commission, it's taking a toll on my soul, I'm screaming submission"
This hits on a point that is recurrent in society today; the idea that depression is "selfish". The people around him (presumably the church) have convinced Johnny that his disorder is just him being selfish, so he asks forgiveness.

"I don't know if I am dying or living"
     He isn't sure if he's on the right or wrong path to forgiveness. He's unsure of his fate. Heaven, or hell?

"I will save face for names sake, abuse grace, take aim to obtain a new name and a newer place"
Johnny feels like at this point, he's disingenuous. He's abusing God's grace to "obtain a new name and a newer place" which, if you aren't religious, means he wants to be in Heaven. The "new name" part is referring to a scripture from The Bible that says when you arrive in Heaven, you're given a new name. A holy name.

"my name became a new destiny to the grave"      Basically put, he's going to die trying to get to Heaven.

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