DAN HOWELL SMUTS AND IMAGINES GIMME REQUESTS :OPEN

Suicidal love

Requested by @patheticpizza

The rain cascaded around me, all though it always had been. I felt as if a cloud hovered above me all the time. It had felt like this since I was eleven years old. When I was born my mother died during child birth and my dad , as I was a only child dad struggled to keep me healthy and energetic. I didn't see him for at least an hour after school since he worked in london and we lived in Kent. Despite this we always had the best weekends. Especially on birthdays. Until my eleventh birthday.

We were in the car when we came to a roundabout. It was really early in the morning so it was dark and the only other cars on the road were lorries. We went to drive forwards when a massive lorry sped around the corner causing the car to flip and land on its roof.

"dad" I heard myself scream. The pain was unbearable emotional and physical. Thick blood ran down my face and my only un trapped arm struggled to free me from my seatbelt. I grabbed it and pushed down on the button which freed me of my seat. It broke my heart to see my dad still hanging upside down unconscious in his seat. Pushing the door away from my arm I stumbled out and immediately smelt a thick smell of smoke and turned to free my dad but it was too late... Before I could even try to pry open the door the car burst into flames causing me to fall onto the concrete beneath me. I was put into care until I was 16 when I ran away. The other girls would tease me for my boyish fashion sense and love of football but whenever I went to play with the boys they would say I could not play because I was a girl. When I ran away I remember that signs where posted everywhere looking for me. I was homeless for around five years until I turned 21. A gut wrenching pain ran through my stomach each time someone walked past me with food. I walked three miles every day to try and reach London bridge. When I reached it I alway begged for money only making at most three pounds a day. I was saving up. My wrists were cut to pieces where I self harmed and my right arm was ruined with a singular scar from the crash.

Finally I had enough money to get some real food. It was six o clock and today was the day. No one cared for me I was alone, no friends ,no family , no one. Stumbling into the nearest restaurant I ordered a three corse meal. A bruschetta salad for starters , steak and chips for main and a Grande alamode apple pie sundae for desert. It was delicious and was served by the kindest people. God how I missed chips. Hours passed and it was finally time. The roads were empty and silent a single man sat on the bench beside the entrance to London bridge and no cars passed. Perfect I thought. Climbing over the fence of the bridge I sat on the ledge of the bridge.

Dear dad , I love you I always have missed you... I don't know what lies before me know but please let me find you again , the sound of other people scares me. Please help me find peace finally.

I thought this aloud and rubbed the scar on my arm , I wasn't ready yet , I was scared by the thought and jumped back over The fence. After consoling my thoughts I realised the man was still sitting on the bench and stood up to approach him when the strong smell of beer filled the air.

"hey pretty lady..." The drunk man slurred. I just stood there scared . Frozen. He put he hands on my breast and kissed me.

"EwW get off me you pervert. " the man just smiled and punched me around the face. I remembered the boxing lessons my dad used to do with me. Swing duck step swing. I thought and did just that. His mouth now bleeding opened and he licked my face and ripped open my top. I screamed but it was muffled by his hand. I looked around and herd foot steps. The man from the bench I thought. I didn't see his face but he swang for the man but it soon got returned and the drunk man threw me over the bridge and I landed in the water. I guess this was perfect. Inhaling the water I drifted down the stream. Images of me and my dad filled my head and I thought I saw heaven until cold hands touched my body. They were strong and I caught a glimpse of his face as he pushed me onto the bank. Holding me hand it hurt as he squeezed it after each time of trying to resuscitate me. I couldn't open my eyes but felt two plump lips push down on mine breath into me. I opened my eyes and saw a young man around my age looking down at me with his stunning brown eyes. He pushed his dark brown hair out of his face and helped me sit up.

"thank you." Were the only words I could mutter. Shaking in shock I felt his strong arms wrap around me until police and emergency services arrived which then he had to give them his statement. After I was given the all clear and gave my statement the man approached me.

"hi I'm y/n thanks so much you don't even know what-" before I could finish my sentence his lips met mine. Nothing sexual but very meaningful all the same.

"I'm dan" he whispered

"y/n would you like to come back to mine." He asked taking my hand. After tonight's events I agreed and we walked back to his. Around halfway I began to fall asleep and ge cradled me in his arms like a baby. When we got back to his he told me about him and I told hum about me . We had the same interests and he cared for me. About present day... We've started up a charity raising money for children in care and depressed teens. I've made so many friends and met amazing people. I used to idolise Shane Dawson so much and now he's my best friend , I have made a youtube channel doing so many collabs with Dan and Phil and I'm the most subscribed female in the world with a immense 26 million subs. I've released a book and enjoy life. I've met so many of my viewers its amazing. And me and Dan... Well lets just say the wedding bells are ringing.

I don't know what lies before us know. We've spoken about kids and its amazing. Kayne Atwood,the man who harassed me , is set to be released from prison next year but I would prefer to look for the best things. Me and Dan love each other deeply and I guess you could call it suicidal love ... That's what I would call it anyways.