Three Quarters and a Heart Down

I've trusted the wrong person too many times for the hope of affection, for once, to feel like I was worth something to someone else.

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The loose chain in my pocket jingled like the sleigh bells of Christmas, which was only a short week away, though unlike every other girl on the block, there was no "sweety boo boo" to share it with. I swear, I must be the only single teenage girl in this town who doesnt have a boyfriend; even Gabriella, the girl who has been leaving trails of boogers through out elementary, middle, and most of high school, has a boy friend. Yet here I stand, alone, just like every other time. I know, it's pathetic, I'm in high school, and still havent experience my first hug from a guy, let alone a kiss or boyfriend. 

I sighed, my breath forming a soft fog in the air right in front of my face. I continued to walk towards the local convience store on the corner of Maple and Elm, the same one with the burnt out neon signs and uneven floor plates; I love that place. I could feel the patchy heat radiate towards me as I got closer, seeing several people through the foggy glass doors and windows. I gagged at the taste of rotten cigarette smoke upon opening the door of the tiny shop, absolutely disgusted at the overwhelming smell of smoke and axe. Disgusting. 

Weaving my way through the crowd, I looked over my shoulder to the drink cases, the bright hues of blue and red advertising catching my eyes. Suddenly, I felt my boot snag on a broken board causing me to fly forwards. Before I knew it, I blindly slammed into some figure or shape, jingles of moving change ringing in the air. 'Fuck..' I thought to myself, feeling two arms grab my shoulders firmly and threateningly. With a nervous gulp, I looked up to see two sapphire blue eyes staring hatefully back down into my own, holding my gaze with such disgust it felt like I was dying on the spot. 

"S-Sorry.." I choked out, my eyes trembling as I continued to maintain eye contact, having no power to break it. He continued to stare at me for what seemed like an enternity, each passing second becoming more painful than the last. 

"Watch where you are going," he sneered, shoving me into the drink display case. The cold thin glass was hardly painless, though atleast it wasnt his fist in my skull, right? 

I continued my journey over towards the energy bars and miniature cereal boxes at the back of the store while trying to shake off the uneasy stares that were casted my way. Gosh, what did I do? Its not like I'm some ex convict, and its not like Im some Victoria Secret model; there's no need to stare! I yelled in my mind, not appreciating the constant glances and glares that were sent my way. Oh well, some people just aren't polite I guess.

Reaching for the lower shelf, my hand ran over several slick plastic wrappers of Twix and Snicker candy bars, though that wasn't really what I was looking for so I continued to rumage through the tiny containers. After a few minutes of plucking out the extravagently labeled chunks of fancy chocolate covered sugar hunks, I finally found what I was looking for.. An Atkins bar, which proudly sported its "Low carb deliciousness" in bright pastel colors. This'll do, I thought as I walked up to the counter and waited, only to be greeted with more glares and glances. Great, because thats what I REALLY needed on a Saturday morning. 

I slowly shuffled forwards towards the cashier, several people still checking out in front of me. They seemed to be in just as much of a rush as I was; quickly shoving money on to the counter from their pockets or wallets, just itching to leave. I don't blame them, there's better things to be doing on a Saturday morning than waiting in a drafty convient store. 

Jamming my hand into my pocket, I scooped up the loose change and proudly presented my four dollars and twenty five cents; three dollar bills and five quarters to be precise. I looked up with a bright smile to the clerk, though I slightly recoiled upon seeing her. Her wrinkly fingers lurched forwards to snatch up the money, causing her old perfume to cloud around me in a mist of prune juice and putrid lavender...