Hi Adam

First Night Feeling Safe

I wake up in a cold sweat, screaming and crying. "Adam!" I scream but there was no response. "Adam!" I scream louder. I jump and scream when I feel a pair of warm arms wrap around me from behind. I wiggle and struggle to get out of the grip of the unknown thing. "It's me! It's me, calm down." I heard his voice from behind me and I began to slowly calm down. I just gave up and just laid like a rag doll in his arms while I cried. It was in the middle of the night and the room was pitch black and cold. Hot tears run slowly down my cold cheeks and drip off my nose. I began to cry so much that it was hard to breathe through my nose.

"Everything is okay, you're safe here with me." He just rocked me back and forth in his arms while I would let out loud sobs. "The dreams always seem so real, as if I'm living it over again." I voice cracked badly at the ending. I couldn't speak to well now, every time I tried my voice would turn into a loud squeak and a crack. Every sound, sight, feel in the dream seemed so real. I could feel the chilly morning air before we left, I remember the taste of my breakfast that morning, it's like I'm reliving all of those things again. I could feel the sharp painful breathes I was taking, I could see the truck coming at us, I could hear my mom voices, and her scream. The last thing I wanted to remember was her spin chilling scream. Every time I hear it it's like you seeing someone get killed right in front on you. Your blood runs cold, you begin to sweat, you can feel your face become white as all of the blood in the scared body goes to your heart and stays there for a minute. Your throat is dry from all of the fear so you can't scream, you can't save yourself or the other person. In that moment I just accepted the fact that I'm going to die. That I wasn't going to make it through this car wreck. I break through the bars of my thoughts when I hear it start to rain down on the house hard.

"I know the wreck was all my. fault, I should have pushed her leg to press the gas and I didn't." I somehow cried out. "It wasn't your fault okay, it wasn't just laid down and calm down I'm right here." He continued to just hold me and rock me. My aunt ran in the room and ran over to me. "Are you okay?" she hugged on to me tightly. "Yeah it was just a dream. I um, I calmed myself down." I couldn't tell her about Adam Because one she would call the cops, two she would call in the whole church, and three she would just put me away in a crazy box somewhere. I told her I would be okay and for her to go to bed. She finally left the room and I sat up in the bed as soon as I heard her door close.