Loud

One

Everything started in December of 1999 when my life began . I didn't know that my life would become so sad and filled with anxiety and drama , if I knew what would happen when I was older I'm not gonna lie , I would've changed who I became friends with and what choices I made . I hate myself . And I'm pretty sure a lot of teens do , but the kind of hate I have for myself , I should seek help . But that's a hard thing to do when every time you fucking tell someone they don't believe you or they compare their problems with yourselves and make you feel even more worse then you already do. Now in the town I live in , which I won't be naming , it's fucking hard to have or get a successful life , it's a small but yet so big city , little girls are getting shot just because they're walking down the street , and that could happen to me at any moment , but i want to live and be free but I can't because I'm forced to stay inside where I'm not even aloud to go in my drive way . I'm lucky I get to go to some friends house , with the few friends I have , yet to mention I only feel good about myself when I'm with one particular friend , Ariana , she makes me feel so happy and makes me feel like I can be someone and be who I want to be , and I can follow my dreams and succeed , but when I go home , it all changes , I feel depressed and I don't feel like living , I feel like absolute shit when I'm at home , my parents make me feel so bad about myself , I hate self pity but man I feel bad for my future life I feel like it's going to be shitty , what I want to do it to help people , I don't care in what form , some people feel better when they're reading, looking at art , listening to music , watching a movie , going to a play , because what they deal with at home fucking ruins they're day , like me , and I don't want anyone to feel the way I feel . I want to be a singer i don't care if I'm a solo artist or in a band , I love music and The half of the population does and make a lot of people feel joy and that's what I want to do make people feel like they're not alone