The Vampire's Assistant

Chapter Twenty-One

When I told Maeve that Eric had heard two heartbeats, she moved her flight up. "Just in case," she'd said in her comforting way though it didn't help my growing anxiety. I was relieved the afternoon her taxi finally pulled up the drive but I couldn't stop the embarrassing sob that burst from my lips when she wrapped her thin arms around me.

"What's wrong, child?" she cooed.

"I... It's just... Everything is..." I couldn't find the words but thankfully Maeve didn't need to hear them to understand.

With a squeeze and a pat on my back, she walked me back into the house. "I know the feeling," she sighed. "Don't you worry; once the babies come, you'll be set to rights again. Mark my words."

I wished I could believe her. I knew my hormones would calm down; I wouldn't feel like a bloated whale of a person anymore; and I was looking forward to being able to see my feet again, but those weren't my only problems. The nearer my time came, the worse things seemed to get between Eric and I. His patience was running thin and I couldn't manage to care. I couldn't bring myself to explain it to Maeve; but I didn't need to. She figured it out later that night.

"I'm going back to Shreveport," Eric announced that evening, just after sundown. Maeve was settling in to the guest room so I'd taken the chance to curl up with a book in my bedroom and make an effort at relaxing.

I glanced up from my book and nodded. "OK."

"I'll be gone a few days."

"OK." I returned to my book but I could feel him still standing there, staring at me.

Finally, he let out a very un-Eric like snort. "You don't even give a shit, do you?"

With a deep breath to keep my anger in check, I placed a finger between the pages and set the book in my lap. "Your comings and goings are your business, Eric."

He practically growled at my dismissal. "What's it going to take, Abby? What do I have to do?"

"What do you want from me?" I spat, venom in my voice and knuckles white on the spine of my book.

He stared at me, dumbfounded. "You," he croaked, "I want you."

"It's not that easy, Eric. It's not a switch I can flip. I don't know what the fuck is going on in my own head anymore and frankly, I'm a bit more concerned right now with the fact that in a few weeks, I'm going to have to deliver not one, but two vampire-human babies with no doctors, no hospital, and no fucking drugs!" I was yelling and shaking by the end of my tirade. "So go back to Shreveport; fuck every fangbanger between here and there! I don't fucking care!"

The resulting silence seemed somehow louder than all my yelling. It pounded in my ears. Eric glared at me, but I could feel that there was no anger under the surface, only a heavy sadness.

"Is that what you think?"

"I'm not doing this with you right now. Please just go."

He seemed to consider it for a moment before turning on his heel. But he didn't leave for Shreveport like he'd said. I wasn't sure where he went but I knew he was still in the house. I picked up my book again, determined to forget our conversation and ignore his humming presence in the back of my mind. But the sound of muffled voices downstairs caught my attention and I couldn't manage to concentrate on the page anymore.

It was Maeve and Eric and as I strained to listen I could tell they were outside on the porch. I stepped to the door of the balcony and with my keen hearing could just make out their conversation.

"...really should try to keep her calm," Maeve was saying, "The stress isn't good for her or the babies."

"I know," Eric replied, sounding surprisingly contrite, "It's not my intention to provoke her."

"Maybe now isn't the time for you to be going out of town," Maeve suggested gently.

"I wouldn't if I had a choice. But I don't think it really matters to her if I'm here or not."

"Nonsense! Of course it does. You're her bonded, the father of her children." I had to suppress a snort. Maeve really didn't know what the hell she was talking about.

"I fucked everything up and I'm starting to realize there may be no coming back from it. She doesn't love me anymore. She tolerates me because she needs my blood, nothing more."

Maeve was silent for moment before she carefully said, "When Abby first came to see me, she told me you had left her. Now, I know a thing or two about vampires; I can understand your feelings at the time. I may not approve, mind you, but I understand. Now you need to try to understand her feelings. She trusted you and you failed her when she needed you most. It's not so easy to come back from that. You must have patience."

"I have -"

"No," she interrupted, "you have not. I heard every bit of that upstairs just now."

It was Eric's turn to be silent while he thought over his next words. "I never had anything as good as Abby before," he said softly, "as a human or a vampire. There was never anyone like her. I've loved others before but... it was never like this. Something good and real and not tainted in death and darkness. It scared the fuck out of me. Before she got pregnant, she'd been... Things were uncertain between us. I wanted to turn her, to keep her with me forever, but she had doubts. I couldn't deal with it. When I found out she was pregnant, it was like my worst nightmare coming to life in front of me. I thought I wasn't enough, that she'd gone looking elsewhere for everything I couldn't give her. There's not much in this world I fear anymore; I didn't know how to handle the feeling. Still don't. I just want things to be good again. We're in the same house but it feels like she's farther away than ever. I don't know how to fix it."

I'd never heard Eric be so honest with anyone - not me, not Pam, not even himself. Sure, I could feel his emotions but they'd never been put into so many words. Somehow, it made it all a little more real. It made Eric more real... almost human. I'd always thought of Eric as unflappable, certainly not prone to the same plagues of insecurity as we mortals. Apparently I was wrong.

He did leave for Shreveport that night, despite Maeve's admonitions. I didn't see him before he left. That morning, I crept down to the empty basement chamber. I couldn't claim to know why I went down there. I just felt the need to see his space, like there were more clues to the inner workings of his mind to be found. It was messy, which was out of character for Eric, even without a regular maid around. The bed was unmade, piles of dirty clothes spotted the floor, and the nightstand was stacked high with books. I immediately noticed "What to Expect When You're Expecting" in the stack. But it was the book on top that really caught my attention. The familiar leather bound album drew me in and before I realized it, the book was in my hands.

I had all but forgotten the Christmas present I'd given Eric. But as my skinnier, decidedly more sexy, less pregnant self smiled up at up me from a happier time, I felt my heart clench. The binding was worn, some of the pages crinkled. My eyes skimmed the pages and suddenly the pictures were too blurry to see. I blinked back the tears and put the book back where I found it.

Eric didn't return for days and though he'd said as much and I'd told him I didn't care, I grew anxious despite myself. Maeve, ever observant, encouraged me to call him but I stubbornly refused. Pam came in his stead to give me blood, though I knew what a weak substitute it really was now. Being so close to time, I seemed to need blood at least once a day and Pam was faithful in her visits. Until one night, about a week after Eric had left.

Pam was late, which wasn't like her and I had a horrible sense of foreboding. Something wasn't right. I paced the front hall as Maeve watched, occasionally suggesting I pick up the phone and get some answers instead of worrying a hole in the floor. The moment I gave in and finally started to dial Pam's number in my phone, she burst through the front door, wild-eyed and disheveled.

"It's Eric," she choked and an icy chill shivered down my spine. Suddenly finding it hard to breathe, I took a single step and a sharp pain shot through my body. My hands went to my belly and before Pam could get another word out, a gush of blood poured down my legs, coating the floor beneath my feet.