Hold My Life

Chapter One

My name.

My name is...

Heh. Why do I bother. No one remembers my name. People nowadays have no respect. But little did I realize neither did I. Maybe I'm just old. Maybe the world had gotten out of hand. MAYBE.

Just maybe.

I'm probably boring you. You can leave. I used to being alone. Its hard sometimes. And you often wonder if God hates you. And doesn't want you to have a little bit of happiness. Not an inch of it. None.

But I'm just rambling on. I'll tell you how I got here. It was because of those men in the high suits!! They said I had to go and fight. At first I was happy you know. It was a big honour. And the ladies loved a man in uniform... BLOOD covered uniform. SOME OF THE BLOOD WASN'T EVEN MINE IT WAS!!...

I'm sorry I hope I didn't frighten you.
I'm not a brute. I WAS a caring person a heart of gold. But that all changed...

I remember it well. There was a knock on the door. Mum had answered it... she. The door was closed now. She got on her hands and knees covered her mouth. She looked at me. Like. Like her whole world had ended... Who would've known that it had.

She ran over to me and hugged me. Said "NO...You're not going..."

"I'm not going to loose you too."

I looked over to the door. Two men in uniforms stood reopening the front door. Eyes as cold as ice. They walked in and pulled my sobbing mother off me.

One man grabbed hold of my shoulder.

"Mr ....... Brown, you've been called to fight for your country."

"Congratulations"
I was shocked. Scared. Happy. SAD ANGRY. DEPRESSED.

(He stares at the ground. Tears swell up in his eyes. He is shaking.)

I'm sorry don't mind me. I'll continue.

I was happy. I had heard stories of how much the ladies love a man in uniform. Everyone would respect me. I'll be a hero.

AT WHAT COST!?!?

I happily walked out with my stuff with the men. Lost in thought too busy to say good bye to my grieving mother.

I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO TELL HER I LOVED HER. I WAS SELFISH.

We got to a carriage and and went off. I was checked by the doctors. Scrubbed down and given my new uniform.

They took me to Egypt for training. The best time of my life.

IT WASN'T WORTH IT IN THE END!!!

I finished my training. And was sent to Gallipoli. The boat ride there was full of laughter. Men drinking and dancing. It wasn't until we got closer did we hear the gunshots and explosions. Everyone was silent. Everyone.

It was dawn when we hit the shores of Gallipoli.

We all ran out of the boat. We heard men yelling and gun shots with whistles sounding the attack. People were on the ground with BLOOD EVERYWHERE.

I'll never forget seeing that.

I was pulled from my heavy thinking by a man, he took me to his bunker. It had a desk and paperwork on it. A couple of pigeons in cages.

"You look good enough for the job. You are to help go into the enemy's trench and take over the trench."

"Understood?"

"Yes sir"

So it was time. I had managed to sneak over. God knows how. But I managed to.

I encountered a man. He stared at me. Fear in his eyes. Tears were STREAMING DOWN HIS FACE. THIS WAS IT HE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DIE THE MOMENT HE SAW ME. I POINTED MY GUN AND SHOT. HE FELL TO THE GROUND. ITS NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIES. HE FELL LIMP AND DIDN'T MOVE.

I cried a lot. I had killed so many people. Just for these trenches.

On the second time I.. I sneaked into a trench I got captured. They held me hostage.

There was no way I was going to survive.

I was tortured. Beaten. And starved. I didn't know if today or tomorrow would be my last day on earth.

I didn't know.

A couple of men came in. Glaring at me.

They had beaten me. I was kept there for months. I was however. Allowed to write to my mother.

I told her I was fine. I'm doing well. Each letter I wrote was looked at before sending.

THEN ONE DAY THEY CAME IN. PUT A STICK IN MY MOUTH. LAID ME DOWN ON THE GROUND!!

They did something terrible. Something very terrible.

I wrote a letter to my mother. I said the usual.

But this time under the stamp I wrote something...

I had written something...The letter said.

"Dearest Mum,
War is a terrible thing. There is constant killing and death all around me.
How I wish I was still with you. But with no wars. I'm so sorry.  I feel I may not return. But fear not I'm happy right now, IF I don't return it's because I don't want to return...

-............"