Complicated (phan AU)

Nothing More, Nothing Less

I nodded curtly at the stoners I usually hang out with after school and walked towards my car. I didn't feel like pretending today.

Because that's all I do.

Pretend.

I'm not a tough guy or a big mean punk, I'm a broken boy that's far too complicated for anyone to understand. I give off the impression that I'm immediately going to hurt everyone I'm around. I stopped in front of my car and stared at the bonnet.

Useless.

I shook my head and opened the door.

Unwanted.

I got in and slammed the door.

Terrifying.

I put the key in ignition.

Mean.

I turned the key.

Ungrateful.

The engine sputtered and failed.

Failure.

I slammed the steering wheel with the palms of my hands and cried.

Stupid.

I cried all the way home. I cried as I ran into the bathroom. I cried as I let the sweet pain break my skin. I cried as the blood trickled down my bare arms. I cried as i remembered that cuts heal but scars don't. I cried as I heard Greg walking up the stairs.

Wuss.

A strong wave of alcohol hit my nostrils as he reached the door. I rushed to wipe up the blood.

"The fuck do you think you're doing making all that noise you ungrateful shit? Shut the fuck up before I come in there and make you!" Greg yelled through the door. I quickly wiped the tears off my cheek and grabbed a bandanna, wrapping it around my bloody arm to keep him from finding out. I got up off the floor and rinsed everything down the drain. I put my jumper back on and opened the door.I wiped my cheeks again with the sleeve of my jumper and looked up into a slap in the face.

"Quit making noise motherfucker or I'll do it again."

I nodded and collapsed on my bed, burying my face in the lumpy pillow. I couldn't handle this anymore. I needed help.

I woke to the sound of Greg yelling outside.

"Why the fuck are you still here?! You're late for school you fuckwit!"

I jumped out of bed and got dressed quickly. I grabbed my keys and bag from the kitchen and ran outside, narrowly missing a blow to the head from Greg.

I got to school to see that everyone was already in class. No point going to maths now. I dawdled to my extension history classroom scrolling through instagram on my phone, when something was thrown into my back, making me trip and fall into the frozen mud. Okay I take that back. Someone. I looked over my shoulder to see who it was.

Well damn.

John Frinse - the neighbourhood dickhead - had somehow thrown brown eyes at me. I gave John a hard stare as I got up. Brown eyes was frantically trying to save his books from the melting mud. I knelt down and helped him, giving him his books as he stood up.

I took this opportunity to study him. I had to look up a bit, as he was a few inches taller than me. He had straight dark hair, unnaturally straight I'm guessing by the way it was curling slightly at the ends. His lips were pink and plump with perfectly straight teeth beneath them he had an average sized nose and a slightly rounded face. He cleared his throat.

"Uhh.. thanks I guess, f-for helping with my books." He said shuffling his feet.

"Yea-yeah no problem," I said, snapping out of my daze. I noticed how my Northern accent contrasted nicely with his east London one. He sounded so articulate.

He smiled sheepishly and walked past me, toward extension history. He only has one dimple.

That's adorable.

No. Stop it Phil. He's just a guy from some of your classes.

Nothing more, nothing less.

I tightened the bandanna around my right arm, wincing as pressure was put on the cuts and bruises. I was determined not to let anyone find out.

The bell rang and I picked up my stuff from the ground, walking to E16.

I stepped into the doorway and immediately I saw it. John and Chris were standing over Brown Eyes saying something aggressively at him. He kept flinching and leaning back away from them.

Oh were they about to get it.

I calmly walked over and tapped them both on the shoulder.

"That's  my seat." I said pointing to the one next to him. My eyes were cold and hard as I stared at him until he spoke up.

"And?" John said bravely.

"And, You're in the way. Move." He stood up straighter.

"Make me."

I punched him hard in the nose and he stumbled backwards. "Why the fuck would you want to sit next to that ugly dork anyway?" He said clutching his nose and attempting so staunch the flow of blood coming out of it.

"Because he's a hell of a lot better than you'll ever be." I said glaring.

Chris backed away from Brown Eyes and John slumped into his assigned seat.

"You okay?" I asked him, a look of concern crossing my features.

He looked utterly shocked.

"Why did you stand up for me?" He said, still looking absolutely bewildered.

"Because they're dicks and from what I've learned, I don't think you deserve it." I said honestly.

He still looked confused. Had seriously no one ever stood up for him? I suddenly felt like I needed to protect him. He didn't look quite seventeen, maybe sixteen or fifteen, how was he in year 12? I suppose I can't talk. I repeated twice. I'm 19, I was supposed to graduate two years before, but I repeated to have more time to study for my HSC. He must have skipped a few grades. How smart is this kid?

"I-" He hesitated. "I'm Dan" He said looking at me.

"Phil." I said, a small smile sneaking it's way onto my face.

"I hope you don't mind me asking," he said looking somewhere on the desk with curiosity. "Why the Bandanna on your forearm?"

I swallowed. "Uhh... It's an explicit tattoo. School makes me cover it up" I said hoping I sounded believable.

He looked at it and nodded suspiciously. He stole a sideways glance at me as I wrote down the notes on the whiteboard. I pretended I didn't notice and smiled to myself.

Stop Phil.

He's just a guy from some of your classes.

Nothing more, nothing less.