Lia

Crack Of Dawn.

The thing about empty coffee bowls, is that it gives promises of it's once being full. Lia stares into hers, wondering of the plans that lay ahead.

She was unsure, as she had always been; but she trusted in herself, as she had in the darkest days.

Life, with all its glum and sullenness, had its perks. Coffee was one among them. She set the bowl down, and picked up one of the cosmos lying on the coffee table.

'True love in Alaska' one of the subtitles read. She smirked, straightening the loose tee she was wearing.

The first lie about the world, and the worst, had been true love. The only kind of true love extended between  parents and their children, and anything other than that was an imaginary fiction written by the mind.

She ought to know, having experienced it first hand. Cara was growing, a hapless victim, of her choices and mistakes.

Lia thought of the time her coffee bowl had been full. Carefree, dumb, Lia. Happy Lia. Lia who didn't wake up in the middle of the night, wondering if the police sirens were sounding for her.

It goes, as the saying was. Such a powerful phrase that dominated her life. It meant that life moves on. She valued that particular saying a lot, because it had been her only companion in her dark, lonely days on the street.

The magazine lay open in her hands, unread and misunderstood. She looked around the room, and saw the first rays of sunlight creeping into the room, softly placing it's hands upon the furniture. She saw meaning in that light  and it brought a smile to her face. The Lia of Before might've cared for daylight as much as she cared for greenhouses in Korea.

But for the Lia of now, each crack of dawn brought a new day, and each day brought a new ray of hope.

—

Lia looked into the cradle, and saw herself. A sweet, two-year old, innocent child. A victim of circumstances. She deserved better, and Lia knew it. Even then Lia had refused, had fought would be the right term, with all her remaining courage and willpower, to hand her over to the orphanage. She did not want her only child, bastard or not, to grow up without knowing who her mother was. But that was not the only reason was it?

No. She had looked at her newborn child and seen a chance at redemption. Yes, she had loved her, weak as it was, with all her heart.

"Cara, honey, will you ever forgive me?" she whispered, careful, so as not to wake her up. "I know we are not perfect, and I definitely know that we can't be happy. Not like this. But give me a chance, and I can prove to you that I'm ready to give my life for you. I love you sweetheart ."

She kisses her, a light peck on the forehead, and a teardrop falls on to Cara's cheek. Even in her sleep, Lia saw a faint trace of a smile form on her lips.

Lia didn't lose everything to the fight. She had Cara, her cause to struggle for better; ergo, her reason to live.

Everything had changed the day she'd come along. Even pride, a woman's only companion when all else seemed lost, had long ago left her.

But even then, Lia had felt the insatiable, ancient, craving for better when she'd seen her.

And just looking into her eyes took her back to the better times.