B. F. W. B

xx2

*Present Time*

As soon as I got home from school, A notification appeared on my phone. It was a text from Liam. 

From: Lii

Hey, I have brownies and pizza here. Wanna come?

I immediately smiled and typed.

To: Lii

Nah, just got home

After five seconds, he replied.

From: Lii

I'll just go there then?

Oh. I ran to my room and fixed everything that might hurt his eyes.

To: Lii

Yeah sure

Seconds after, I heard a knock. Why the hell is he so fast?

I opened the door, and a smiling Liam appeared, holding a box of pizza and another box full of brownies.

"It's never too late for food, eh?"

And I laughed. He really knows me. 

We both entered the house and he immediately went to the kitchen. 

"How are you surviving this? Being alone in a big house." He shouted.

I am alone. My parents are busy fixing our family business. My brother, Liv, is busy living with her girlfriend at New York and here I am, stuck in our own house. 

Instead of answering, I just walked closer to him and hugged him really tight. He also hugged back, making everything better.

"Ugh, fuck this Louisse. Why does it have to be this hard?" He whispered. Which gave me a reason to raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" I asked confusedly.

But he didn't answer. He kissed me. I knew this is going to happen.

And yes. 

It happened, something happened between us. It's nothing new to me. Something different was going on in our 2 years of friendship. We're each other's firsts. And I can't help but to have hidden feelings for him. He's my bestfriend, but unexpectedly, my fuck buddy at the same time.

I laid on his chest, catching my breath. Silence was devouring us. No one dared to move. All I can hear is my own heartbeat and his panting. 

"So, uh. Louisse"

I looked at him, and he stared into my eyes. He smiled, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. From that moment, I already know that something was wrong.

"What?" I innocently asked. I can feel my heartbeat slowly pounding faster than before. I am nervous. 

"I... I already have a girlfriend. I just met--"

I didn't hear his next words. All I can hear is my mind, replaying the first phrase that he said.

"I...I already have a girlfriend"

"I...I already have a girlfriend"

"I...I already have a girlfriend"

I immediately stood, picked my clothes up and changed. I didn't know what to do anymore. My emotions suddenly got fucked up. Will I be happy for him? Be sad? Angry? Jealous?

"What the fuck Louisse?" He confusedly asked and placed his hands on my shoulder. 

"You know what? Fuck you" My anger was starting to build up. 

He looked at me, confused. "What? Why?" 

"You fucking have a girlfriend already and you didn't tell me before this happened? Gosh, Liam. You're so stupid." I shouted. I was fixing my clothes while he was trying to hold me. "Just please hear me first Louisse!" 

He shouted. And that's not a good sign. So I stopped whatever I was doing and stared blankly at his face.

"I was about to tell you. That's the reason why I came here in the first place. It's just that... It's just that when it comes to you... I can't control myself."

"Do you love her?" My heart pounded faster. I was looking at him calmly but my heart is beating like crazy.

He stared at me. A sudden flash of emotion appeared in his eyes. I couldn't exactly tell why, but I'm sure I saw something. He's been my bestfriend for years, I know him. 

He sighed before answering, "Yes."

I smiled. As much as I want to cry, I can't. 

"You're still a jerk for having sex with me even though you already have a girlfriend. This sucks" I just whispered and sat on my bed. I heard him sigh and sat beside me. 

"I'm sorry" He said before hugging me. 

My tears started to fall. Fuck this. "Fuck you." I answered and hid my face in his neck. My shoulders started to move up and down. 

And reality started to hit me like a bitch. It made me realize that I am just capable of being fucked; but not capable of being loved. 

"Oh no, no no no Louisse. Fuck this shit. I'm sorry. Don't cry. Oh god, what have I done?" He was hugging me the whole time, blabbering words I could not hear. 

The next day, I woke up with a heavy heart, and a heavy hand on my stomach. Who the fuck is this? I looked at the person beside me only to see a sleeping Liam. He slept here? He doesn't usually sleep here unless he really feels that I need someone or if his house is under renovation. 

I just stared at him. Wondering if he was just joking last night. What if one day, he'll never talk to me again.

"Louisse" He murmured. 

"Yes?" I asked, looking intently at him. Wondering why he just called my name in the middle of his sleep. He must be dreaming about me? But ugh, cut those expectations off Louisse.

"I love you"