our love is legend

A whole new low...

As i walk home from jack's it dawned on me, I had admitted to my bully that i am in love with him.

"why, why the fuck am i so stupid" i think to myself  " why dont I just kill myself before he does"

When i got home my mother was waiting for me. " where have you been?!?! ive been worried sick all night" she screamed

"I was out, what do you care?" i snarled back

"for all I know you could have died, you didn't call or text me to say you weren't going to be home!" 

" Im 15 i can handle myself" this was the last thing i screamed before storming off.

I walked up to my bathroom and walked inside while locking the door. i slowly walk up to the mirror, i open the cabinet and take out what used to be my only friend before Ryan came along, a small silver razor blade. I think to myself " Do i really want to do this, ive been 3 months clean, i dont want to start again", although i thought this, i still took it to my skin. One... two... three... four i just kept going until i couldn't feel the pain anymore.

I woke up in my own bed with a note beside my bed, it wrote: " im sorry, i have to leave. I cant take this anymore, the disrespect, the lying, the self harming. I cant deal with it anymore so im leaving. ive left enough money to last until you are old enough to work so you will be living by yourself from now on. im sorry to do this. love mum"

when I read that i passed out. I awoke again to the sound of banging, it was Ryan, he was at the door wondering where id been after the party. I let him in, made him a coffee and explained all of what happened with jack, the self harm and my mum. He was shocked at the last one, so shocked in fact he had asked him parents if i could go and live with them. His parents said that they would support me in my time of need, this made me surprisingly happy.