Regret

Darkness. That was all Noah could make out as he woke up in the middle of the night. The only source of light, hidden behind drawn curtains, was the faint light from the full moon. Once again he had a nightmare. He took a shaky breath and tried to calm down. Everything was okay, it was just a dream. Just a dream... but the panic he felt was real, he was bathed in cold sweat. Noah figured he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep for this night so he went to grab a glass of water from the kitchen.

With half lidden eyes and dragging feet, he made his way through the barely illuminated rooms he called his house. He didn't bother to switch on the lights, he knew the outline of the house by heart. His thoughts began to wander, to what has happened, to what might happen. How long he's been a toy for the Collective. They're still playing with him and most likely won't stop till they get what they want. Noah saw himself as an already broken toy now, been played with too much. He's been through so much, oh so much already. Surely once they see how broken he is they would throw him away; leave him alone. Forever.

The sound of an owl threw him out of his thoughts, startled he looked around. He seemed to have been standing for a while in front of the sink in his kitchen, the floor under his feet was warm. Numbly he reached into the cupboard above and took out a glass, filled it up and almost downed it in one go if he wouldn't have choked on it. He coughed a few times. Filling up the glass yet again. Now he took smaller gulps of the transparent liquid. He filled it up one last time and started to make his way back to his bedroom.

A bit more carefully now as to not drop the water he slowly but surely arrived in his room. Setting it on his nightstand he dropped onto the bed and just stayed there for a while. Enjoying the silence. He almost fell back asleep. The floor boards creaked. His head shot up and his heart was pounding but there was nothing. Did he imagine it? He breathed out and sat up. Running a hand through his hair he went to open up the window to let a bit fresh air into the room. It was a windy night and he felt a shiver going up his spine as the wind blew into his face.

He jumped as he heard the floorboards once again, this time, he was sure he didn't imagine it. Whipping around he looked over his room and spotted a familiar face he had wished to never see again in his life. Mary Asher- now Cursor of the Collective was calmly standing in his room. How dare she shows her face in his house. His fists clenched, he walked over to her.

"Noah-" she was cut off by said man trying to punch her. She dodged his weak attempt.

"This is all your fault!" he spat, an angry expression on his face. "You're the reason I'm in this hell! You're the reason why they torment me!"

Cursor help up her hands in an attempt to calm the raging male down.

"Listen, Noah I'm sorry-"

"'I'm sorry' won't cut it!"

"I didn't mean to get you involved. I didn't think they would go after you. I never wanted to involve anyone in this."

Noah laughed. "Too bad huh? Look where you are now. You're one of them now."

"I know and I'm not happy about it either." Noah was still angry but forced himself to calm down.

"Why are you here anyways? Don't you have some Collective stuff to do." He sat down on the edge of his bed and waited for an answer of the blonde female.

She smiled slightly "I have a brief time of freedom. Sometimes the Keeper loosens his strings on us and we gain just a little bit of our past life back. I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Why me? Why not check up on- oh god Milo." He forgot about him. He forgot about his cousins and best friends death.

He put his head in his hands and started sniffling. He couldn't break down now. Not now not ever. He said something but it was too muffled to understand.

"Can you repeat that?" asked Cursor. Noah lifted his head and looked at her with a death glare.

"I said this is all your fault. Milo died because of you. Your own son died. What a terrible mother you are, not even able to protect her own son. You're the fault they're here for me now, because I'm a part of the family." More and more salty tears started to form during his angry answer and he started to sob.

Embarrassed he looked away from her, his sobs didn't subside, however. He felt a hand on his shoulder and swatted it away. He saw Cursor crouched down in front of him. "I don't need you. Go away." he said. She sighed and sat down beside him on the bed. "I said go away." A few more moments passed by when he felt someone embracing him. It felt warm, comforting. He missed this feeling. For once he felt a tiny spark of security in this hell hole. Leaning into the embrace he heard her chuckle. He didn't care now.

"Gosh, you're still a crybaby."

"Shut up."