Well, I guess I was there...

Muddy Boots and Low Self-Esteem.

Taylor was standing at the bus stop typing something on her phone. She felt like she couldn't move as if somebody was standing behind her back. She felt like her boots were glued to the muddy ground. She found the bravery to turn around and when she made a sharp turn she noticed that the space behind her was absolutely empty. Taylor sighed, but as soon as she did that she heard somebody sighing back to her. This couldn't be a person. There was nobody standing behind her or near her. Taylor went to look around the bus stop and a lot further, but she didn't find anyone.
"That's odd." she thought to herself.
The bus came in five minutes and Taylor ran quickly to the bus as if she was being chased by wolves or other wild beasts.

Everything was fine. The bus was nearly empty. There was only a couple of people sitting in different corners. For the first time that day she felt calm. The old punk band called Scream was playing in here half-wrecked earphones. Suddenly the song called Hygiene started playing and Taylor started memorizing the entire day. Why? Maybe because she was hated by many of the schoolmates because of her looks. She didn't have that much money to buy herself new clothes.

"It would take ages and an awful lot of money for me to look halfway decent." she thought to herself.
She took her earphones out of her ears and aggressively pushed them back into her bag. Suddenly she started feeling very nervous, because she knew that this hell would continue for more than three years.

When she came home she wasn't met by anyone. Her mum was at work and dad was in New York on a special business meeting. Taylor headed to her room quickly, because she wanted to spend some time listening to her favorite vinyl.
Taylor smiled when she entered her little room decorated with band posters and vinyl boxes.
"What's for tonight?" she asked herself and looked at the newest vinyl she had so far. "Pearl Jam!"
She ran to see the new shining vinyl record and it was the most pleasant feeling ever when she finally touched that vinyl.
The first song was Even Flow which she loved the most. She started dancing to Eddie Vedder's raw voice and singing along with him. " oh, he don't know! So he chases them away!"
She imagined herself at some kind of rock concert as a lead singer. She imagined her fans singing along with her music. She didn't want to be "that kid Taylor that is a loser in school" or "Is it that Taylor that was performing in some kind of bar? Well, I guess I was there..."
She wanted to be famous all over the world and her wish was to bring emotions to people, but her she thought that she was a waste of space at home, at school, in town and besides her mother has already told Taylor about her future. A lawyer. Mrs Coyne saw her daughter as a lawyer. And that was the problem.

Mrs Sheila Coyne is a psychologist. You know that situation when a psychologist needs their own psychologist? Well that is about Sheila Coyne. She was a mad woman and everyone was getting on her nerves. She could get mad at a person for no reason and sometimes said absolutely irrelevant things. Maybe that is how "mother common sense" works, but how is that relevant: "You have to go to a new school, because you have to go to a new school?" or "You are 15! You are not supposed to cry!" and a bunch of different things. The most freakish thing was "You should be thankful for what we give you! And you are not allowed to "ew" in here, because we spend our last money on your comfort! I think you're turning to a cheeky teen!" on the question "Mum, can I wear another shirt, please. I don't like how this looks."
Taylor's mum was exactly like that. She also spent a lot of her time watching Santa Barbara.
"How can you watch that? It's absolutely irrelevant."
"Shut up Taylor!"

18:56.
Sheila Coyne entered her daughter's room and Taylor immediately turned her music off as she heard the mother's foot steps. The door creaked.
"Taylor!" shouted she. "There is some mud left on the floor in the corridor. Go clean it up."
"But my boots weren't muddy,"
"I don't want to hear it! You are now officially a cheeky teen! Go and clean up the mess!"
Taylor bit her tongue. She wanted her mum to be more less nice with her, but she never made an effort to do such a thing. The only thing that Taylor was happy about is that the next day was Friday and her mum allowed her to skip the last lesson, because of some reasons that she didn't explain. Taylor was kind of exited for the weekend, because she was going to meet Gordon, her old friend that lived next to their house. He was about to go to college as he was two years older than her and Taylor was very interested to know about it. In fact, Gordon was the only true friend of Taylor Coyne and the only one who actually liked her older sister Jayne who committed suicide three years ago.
Gordon was a tall weirdo with quite long blond hair and brown eyes. When Jayne was alive he used to spend quite a lot of time with her, comforting her and trying to prevent her suicidal thoughts, but it didn't work out well. Taylor was only 12 when Jayne committed suicide, but surprisingly the most upset person was Gordon. He convinced himself that Jayne's death was his fault, but it most certainly wasn't. It was the fault of consequences Jayne had to face. Hatred, suicidal syndrome and the feeling of being not good enough for anything killed her, not that knife she stabbed herself with. That bloodbath was only one tiny part of what killed her, so was the knife. Gordon was the most caring person and one of the few people who actually wanted to know how Jayne was. He wasn't in love with her. He was a true friend. Three years passed, but Gordon still blames himself and feels lonely. When Taylor made up with Gordon he felt better, but he sometimes does those nostalgic talks about Jayne and how good she was.
Taylor couldn't stop thinking about Jayne, analyzing why she committed suicide and why was the reason.

That rainy Thursday night Taylor went to sleep with her thoughts full of Jayne and her earphones inside her ears with R.E.M playing on her phone.