When it rains

The lack of will to live

A/N
Trigger warning:
Suicide attempt, alcohol binging, and bullying, oh my!

"I'm sorry Kev but your grade it's slipping, is everything okay?" The AP chemistry teacher asks with her voice laced with concern. "Every thing is fine Mrs. Walsh." The small redhead says quietly lowering his eyes to the ground. "I know this month in particular has been hard on you but I can't stand to see your grade slip like this." Mrs. Walsh says shuffling through some tests. "Why don't you have Eddward Rockwell help you he has the top grades in this school and he excels in this class." She mentions and the ginger shivers at that name. "I think I'll continue to work hard on my own." He says using his 'quiz bowl' hat to cover his eyes as he avoids eye contact with his concerned teacher while he grabs his failed test and leaves in a hurry.

Once he's out in the hallway the small ginger maneuvers around quickly and quietly avoiding contact with anyone he passes by, he still has his hat pulled down over his eyes. He hears the bell ring as the remaining few students disappear and he sighs in relief. finally he moves his hat out from in front of his face allowing the tears he's been holding back to finally spill out. "What do we have here?" A familiar voice calls out menacingly. "Please go away, Johnny." The ginger whimpers almost pathetically as the tears continue to flow. "No way Kev, being able to kick someone while they are down is my favorite hobby." The boy says as a grin creeps across his face and he swiftly punches the small redhead in his weeping left eye. The small ginger falls to the ground as he's kicked repeatedly. He doesn't call out for help, he doesn't even care anymore. "Hey you!" One of the faculty members finally calls out. Johnny then sprints off and one of the members chases after him while one of the counsellors stays behind and helps him up. "Are you okay Mr. Anderson?" The sweet voice calls out as Kevin takes her hand. "No." He says honestly still keeping his eyes locked on the ground. The ginger then walks away with his head as low as his self esteem.

Once he's about to walk into his home he hears foot steps approaching once more and he flinches awaiting a hit not even looking back to see who it is. "Greetings pumpkin." A voice all too familiar calls out. "Please... Eddward. I've had enough." Kev pleads with the tall boy now standing in front of him. "I'm not going to hurt you, I've never physically harmed you." Eddward mentions. "Yes but you get overly touchy with me pushing me against lockers as you lean in closely, forcing me to your swim meets. You threaten me if I so much as look at someone else, I've had enough." The small readhead says as his voice wavers. "Then go ahead, tell me to stop and I'll be gone forever." The tall boy says leaning in closely. "What does it matter? You won't stop anyway. I've said it a million times and you keep going." Kev says as his eyes shift downwards to the ground. He can't even think about looking anyone in the eyes right now. "Kevin, look me in the eyes and tell me to stop and I promise this time I will." Eddward says tilting the boys chin up to meet his gaze. "It doesn't matter." Kevin says swatting Eddward's hand away and disappearing inside.

Once inside he's 'greeted' his father's passed out body caused by alcohol. The small ginger frowns but takes a blanket covering his dad up. "Take better care of yourself dad." He says quietly to the almost lifeless figure before him. "Evelyn...." His father grumbles in his sleep. "She's gone." Kevin replies clenching his fists and holding back more tears that threaten to pour out. He runs up to his room and collapses onto the bed mentally and physically exhausted. The ginger looks up at the picture of him and his mother taken recently of them both smiling on his night stand. "I miss you..." He whispers as his voice cracks from the fresh tears falling down his bruised face. "I'm tired of this life mom." Kevin says picking up at the picture smiling slightly at how happy they both looked, he knew she was dying but he wasn't expecting her to leave so soon. "Why couldn't you stay just a little longer, I am graduating this year you know. You could have held on a few more months if you wanted to...oh that's right, you probably didn't want to." The small redhead whispers and then jumps as he hears a loud crack of thunder followed by a downpour outside his window. "Of course..." He says with a frown laying down onto his bed. If there's one thing he hates in this world more than anything, it's thunderstorms. They don't necessarily scare him, they just put him in a sad mood. Considering he was already in a mood it just intensifies his feelings. He curls up onto his bed and eventually falls asleep completely ignoring studying and his homework.

The small ginger wakes up in the middle of the night hearing the rain still coming down he slowly lifts himself out of the bed. He heads downstairs to see his dad still passed out with a bottle in his hand. "What's so great about this stuff anyway?" He asks to the passed out figure. Kevin pulls the bottle up to his lips and takes a sip, his face scrunching at the taste. "This tastes like shit dad." He says flatly before taking another swing of the bottle, walking off with it. Bottle after bottle the small ginger downs throwing each empty one against the wall causing it to shatter. His cries echo through his hallow room. He's put everything into storage besides his bed and night stand which would normally be a red flag but it's not like anyone's noticed. No one ever has. The redhead begins to vomit but this does not discontinue his binge as he continues to down the liquor. He's not going to stop "not until I'm dead." He encourages himself quietly to pick up yet another bottle and he smiles as the world before him starts to blend together into one solid color, black.

The next morning Eddward wakes up and heads off to school he thinks today is going to be an average day where he can tease and play with his pumpkin who he's been trying to get to come out so he can confess his feeling for him. He's been trying for nearly two years now. Last month right before Kevin's mom died the ginger did finally kiss Eddward giving him the confidence to keep pursuing him. Eddward admits to himself that he can get a little aggressive but fuck man, he's hopelessly in love. Seeing that little redhead with other people just makes him go insane. He gets up to the school and heads straight to Kevin's locker waiting for him. When the bell for first period rings he knows immediately something is wrong when the small redhead is no where to be found. Quickly, the tall boy darts out the building and runs all the way to Kevin's home. Panting to catch his breath Eddward digs around outside for the spare key after he finds the door to be locked and gaining no answer from knocking. He lets himself in and rushes upstairs to the small ginger's room right away. Eddward collapses to the ground next to the seemingly lifeless body in front of him that's surrounded by empty bottles and vomit. "Pumpkin please... You have to live. You have to stay here...." The tall boy says weeping holding the limp body closely as he awaits the ambulance to come.

Finally, the feint sound of sirens can be heard as Eddward's whole world moves in slow motion. He ends up at the hospital as well in the waiting room to hear word on the status of the one he loves so dearly.