Lost. [Zayn Malik]

Chapter 2:

I lay in my bed, turning around trying to sleep. I can't get Zayn out of my mind, I'm trying to get him out but I can't think about anything else. It happened a few years ago in Bradford. After all of this happened. After what happened to my sister. He knew it, and he hasn't even told me a thing. I changed my name. I left Bradford. I left my family and my sister. And I left Zayn.

"You knew. You fucking knew Zayn!" I shout at him tears streaming down my face. "You knew she was a drug addicted bitch!"

He looks at the ground not answering as I push him. He doesn't say a thing and I feel my anger building up. "Clara, she was found almost dead. Almost dead pumped with drugs and raped! You knew she-" I can't even finish the sentence as I break down. Everyone knew except me.

"You were so bounded to her, Charlet! You loved her, you looked up to her! You- Fuck she was- You looked up to her more than to your mother!", I hear my boyfriend speak. "Nobody wanted you to know, because everyone knew you can't handle it"

I look at him, I have never felt more betrayed by someone. "How did you know?", I hear my shaking voice going quieter.

"Your parents told me, Charlet." he goes quiet to.

"You- They fucking told you Zayn? And you didn't tell me?" , I feel my anger come up again. "I trusted you!" I shout.

"I'm so sorry Cha-" , I don't let him even finish the sentence as I push him so he stumbles and almost falls. I see his eyes welling up with tears. He looks at me, I see hurt in his eyes, guilt. I turn around and start walking away.

"You can't just go, and leave me here" , he spoke to me, crying. I just look at him, feeling nothing but hate, as I turn around leaving him there. The anger boils in me.

"I love you, I always did, Charlet!", he shouts. Tears start running down my face.

"I love you too, I always will" , I whisper to myself. And I walk alone in this rain. Lonely. Empty. Lost.

I can't even believe I didn't recognize him. After I died my blonde hair to brown, I changed my name. Sandra Riverson. It took me time to get it, my name was Charlet Elder.

As I say, it was. Nobody knows me, even my family doesn't know what I'm doing, neither where to find me. It's okay like that; I practically moved on, from them, but never from Zayn. I kept the picture of me and him, just to remember he was here someday, to love me when I couldn't love myself. My brother only does know where I am, he's changed his name too. Moved to New York for the first year, but soon settled down in Seattle. My life has been literally a mess until I left Bradford and started a new one. I decide to call Jeremy, my brother. He's the only one who knows what I should do right now.

"Yea? Sandra?" , I hear his voice and can't help but smile.

"He's here." I state calmly, trying not to overreact.

"Who?" he speaks slowly, quietly as if someone could hear him. I can't manage to tell him. "Who's here, Sandra?"

"Zayn."

He takes a deep breath, I can imagine Jer just closing his eyes. "Fuck."

______________________________________________

I wake up, the windows letting the light come into my room. And just as I am about to pick up my phone, I remember what happened yesterday. I saw Zayn. As classy as ever. As beautiful as ever and as Bad-boyish as ever. I let out a small sigh and stand up, too fast. It turns black infront of my eyes which causes me to sit down for a second. I look up and see Li is not here, then I remember she has morning classes and my class on Monday starts at 1:15 PM.

I pick up my phone and take my way to my bathroom, turn on my music and take a shower, which causes me to think about him again. I remember our first date, our first kiss, our first dance and the first time we exchanged "I love you's". In the next moment I feel tears welling up my eyes and I start to cry like the first 3 months when our relationship ended. I was a piece of nothing without him. It all happened 2 years ago, but my feelings never changed and they never will. I love you Charlet! I always did! The sentence repeats in my head causing me to cry more.

As I finished my shower and my little breakdown I put my clothes on and take a look on my phone, just to check time. I see Jer has left me a message asking me, if he should come, if I'm alright and if I plan on going onto another university.

I really don't, I like it here, I love Lisa and Zayn wouldn't ever recognize me anyways, so where's the problem?

It was around 11 and I have full two hours to get to class so I decide to walk into the small coffee even if I don't like to see Frank today. He's been trying to jot up on me since school ever started and I always blocked, but he doesn't give up.

I enter the coffee and look around, my eyes fall from Frank who is smiling at me brightly to Zayn. I get almost the same shock as yesterday and somehow I manage to walk to Frank and get my Capucchino with Chocolate.

"Hey Sand, everything okay?", Frank asks me and winks. I nod "As always"

Zayn looks up as he hears my voice and I get very uncomfortable with the situation. Frank's making my Capucchino and I exchange quick smiles with Zayn. I notice there's no table to sit at and let out a sigh.

"Here you are, beauty", Frank places the Capucchino on the Counter and I hand him the money. Then I take my drink and sit down next to Zayn. He smiles at me and I smile back, finding myself remembering how much I loved this smile and I was dying to see it again. Then Zayn's look quickly changes, his eyes become small. Then he speaks the words "Charlet, is that you?"
I feel my smile fading away, my face drops immediately as he looks at me with this same look.