All of Me

1

Demi

We had it all.

Wilmer and I had that no sleep until a kiss goodnight, hold hands while walking or go nowhere, heart ache while being separated for two seconds, butterflies while screaming, stomach aching from laughing kind of love.

We were stupid, reckless teenagers one minute, married crazy couple the next, and then parents to two twin girls after that. It wasn't easy. It never was easy, but we made it work.

For 15 years, we've raised the most beautiful twins ever. Call me biased, but it's true. Life was perfect, life was a bliss. I thought someone had to pinch me because life was too perfect.

You get what you ask for and the universe pinched me the day Alaska complained of her first headache, and the day Wilmer and I filed for a separation.

Alaska began having little headaches every other day, excruciating pain at random times, which lead to migraines everyday. Several doctors couldn't see anything. For months we've just been subscribed with an antibiotic and sent home. Until one doctor, Doctor Shepard, spotted something days ago. We have not yet learned what it is, but we will go in tomorrow to find out.

All of the stress has put a strain on Wilmer and I's relationship. We bicker, we argue, we fight, and we cry. We thought having a separation instead of a divorce would help fix things, but it hasn't.

Ella and Alaska are my whole world, my moon, and all my stars. Everything I do is for them. I hope they can all see that, because I feel as if I don't tell them enough.

I lay in bed suffocated with silence and my thoughts. I constantly worry about my girls and if they're still hurting about our split. They dealt wonderfully with it, as they could see it was for the best.

Months ago Wilmer wouldn't have been able to keep away from me. We were like magnets. Nothing could keep us apart and nothing could come between us. But that was then and this is now.

Fighting with someone you're absolutely in love with is exhausting. It's honestly the worst thing ever. It's enough to make me go crazy. Worrying about Wilmer and Alaska is draining.

I was about to attempt to sleep, but then I heard the creek of the door open, as a tiny bit of light spilled into the room. "Mom?" I heard Ella ask.

"Yeah, baby, what's up?" I asked, sitting up.

"I'm.. Im scared.." She whispered, crawling in beside me. She may be a teenager, but it's not unlike her or her sister to sleep with me. I'm definitely not complaining.

"Why are you scared, Ell?" I asked as I snuggled up to her.

"Alaska," she said, braking my heart, "I don't want anything bad to happen to her."

"Nothing bad is going to happen to your sister." I said, sounding like I'm trying to convince myself more than Ella.

"But.. What if...Or.. Have you seen my sisters keeper? What if-"

"Stop." I warned, "Don't you dare watch or think about that movie. Baby girl, I love you and Alaska more than anything in this world. Even if something does happen, it will only make us stronger. Okay?"

"Okay," she whispered, "Can I go to Alaska's appointment tomorrow?"

"One- why are you talking about me?" I heard Alaska whisper as she walked into the room, "and two- why wasn't I invited to this party?"