Messed Up {HBK One Shot}

Part II

Four months later

I place my keys on the coffee table as I enter my apartment . I was at JT's house all evening, trying to get his spirits up and whatnot. All this stuff had tired me now. God I need a smoke.

I walk up to the fire exit and sit on the steps, smoking a cigarette to calm my nerves. When I look back into the apartment I see Nancy's jacket lying on the couch, which reminds me of the kiss that took place months ago.

Nancy had kept quiet the whole night. She was speechless, rather shocked. I too was mentally cursing myself for taking such a bold step. But I guess, the heart wants what it wants. When we came home that night, I finally broke the silence as I told Nancy, "Let's just forget about this. My mind was fucked up from the accident and I did things I shouldn't have done." Nancy knowingly nods as she walks towards her bedroom. But before she enters her room, a faint smile traces her lips as she says

"Too bad I enjoyed the kiss."

I punch the staircase railing hard as I remembered that night. It's been haunting me all these months. Nancy indirectly told me she had feelings for me too, then why am I holding back? I guess, there's a fear of doing something wrong and losing her. This reminds of how much similar I am to Jay, I've lost some people too, which makes me afraid of getting committed to someone.

The cigarette had hardly done a job of calming down. Fuck it, I just needed to forget everything. I grab a six-pack to the fire exit, where I finish the bottles one by one and still smoke some cigarettes.

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A splash cold water awakens me as I threaten the person behind it. "I swear to God I'll fucking kill... Nancy?" I stop as I see a glaring Nancy ordering me to stand up. I manage to stand up, but that's when the headaches kick in. Nancy steadies me, looking at me in concern. I push past her to the bathroom where I throw up.

I clean myself up and go to the kitchen counter to make myself some strong coffee. Turns out there already was a cup ready for me. I quickly down it and head for my room but Nancy blocks my path. She's still angry at me. About what? Oh, passing out on the fire exit. Her eyes were filled with concern but it quickly darkened as she shouted at me,

"What the hell is wrong with you Grey! First thing I see when I enter the apartment is you passed out on the fire exit with cigarette butts and empty bottles around you. I've told you so many times that you shouldn't smoke every damn time! You're going to kill yourself this way! "

"Maybe I want to kill myself! Why do you even care if I smoke or not, it's my fucking decision Montry!" Anger fills up in me as I shout back.

Nancy it's slightly taken back by my rude behavior but nevertheless she continues, "Because I care about you!"

I blink my eyes as I register her statement in my head. "Um, uhhh....."

"Yes you idiot I like you. Obviously I enjoyed the kiss we shared, and I know you're smart enough to have realized what I told you that night. So what's holding you back Grey?"

"I told you Nancy. I was fucked up that night and I shouldn't have kissed you. Anyways I'm too messed up for you to handle. Maybe people think it's fucking obvious that I'm crazy about you, but I'm never going to admit it! I'm scared of losing you."

Nancy holds my hand as she moves closer to me, "Maybe I like messed up kids." We move closer to each other, are lips lingering in front of each other. Just then, my phone rang, interrupting our moment.

Cursing, I pick up the phone as Emma frantically speaks, "Ferrot! Thank God you picked up the phone. I'm at JT's house, he's a complete utter mess. He's completely drunk and is trying to leave the house to go get Aqueela home. I can't handle him for much longer, please please come over. Quick."

I look at Nancy, the woman who I could fall in love with, and back at the phone, my best friend who needs my support. I need to make a very difficult choice right now. I stay silent for a moment as I reply to Emma

"Hold him for a bit. I'll come as fast as I can."

I give Nancy an apologetic glance as I rush to get the keys and go to Jay. As I rushed past the door, I didn't notice Nancy's dejected face, as everything crumpled down around her.

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Three years later

I pick up the mail from the box as I get into my car. I dump all the trash mail when I come across a postcard from JT. It was a picture of him with his new agent, Decoda I think at a racecourse. He's proudly holding a cup in his hand while Decoda looks at him proudly. He's written something behind it. It says

Don't give up on your dreams, on your passions. Fight for what you love. In the end, if it's meant to be, it's going to come to you. (PS I'm coming back in a few weeks don't miss me.)

I laugh at the irony first, remembering how JT got over Aqueela. I realize the love he meant was for racing. However my mind gets stuck on one thing. Nancy. All these years inspite of having feelings towards her, I pushed her back. I thought they'll vanish after some time, but it just kept on cultivating. JT's words gave me some sort of strength, it gave me courage to finally seek Nancy out. I grin as I get out of the car and rush towards our apartment.

I see her in the building lobby, dressed up elegantly. I stop for a while to observe her. She's so damn beautiful. I take in a deep breath as I walk towards her but stop in my tracks. A guy comes up to her and kisses her. She's moved on. I walk back waiting for the guy to leave. The guy looked like a jackass, he was way to absorbed in his phone to even look at her. I would never do that.

I enter the lobby as soon as he leaves, walking up the stairs with Nancy. I choose to not talk about what happened there. She's talking to someone on the phone, I think Mason. When we reach our apartment, she ends the call to open up the door. I walk in, deciding to retire to my room as she stops me by saying.

"His Name's Ryan. Ryan Brewer. He looks like a jerk but he's a nice guy. Really."

She looks at me with some sort of pity. I look back at her, slightly pissed.

"You've got to realize that I wasn't going to wait for you Grey. It's nice of you to help Jay, but you missed out on a chance to help yourself. I can't do this with you, really. It's like being on an emotional rollercoaster and it's making me sick. I need to get off. I need to get over you." She draws in a deep breath as she mimics me

"Let's just forget about this. My mind was fucked up and I did things I shouldn't have done."

There was definitely no truth in her words, but I complied anyway. I turn a blind eye as I changed the topic. I grabbed a can of soda from the fridge as I asked, "So what's up with the call to Mason? You looked a bit shocked." Nancy flinches at the sudden change of behavior but replies to my question. "You will be too if you hear what he has to say." She steps back as if she's predicting my reaction.

"Guess who's back in town?"

I spit my drink out, shocked, as I see Nancy smirking knowingly. No. No Fucking Way!

Dammit Lawson.

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