outcast|| m.t

one

  What is life worth when you can't be yourself? When the only thing you can do is hide behind a broken mask, and pretend your okay. What is life worth when the whole world is against you, and everyday you wish you could just die instead of facing the pain others cause? Why are people so cruel? Why?

  Everyday I wake up hoping for sunshine and rainbows, but instead all I see are dark, dark clouds full of rain and sadness. Life is worthless. There is no good in this world. All the people treat me as if I'm a deadly disease. When really they are the disease, and I am the victim.

  They attack me with their words, and drain the life out of me with their punches. Until I'm nothing but an empty shell.

  So maybe I should just go away.

  Far, far away. To a better place. Is there a better place?

  Maybe.

  Hopefully.

  There's gotta be a better place. I mean, I hear about one all the time. So maybe I should leave, to this better place. Behind the dark, dark clouds. Into a world full of only sunshine and rainbows.

  A better place.

  So I make up my mind, it's time to go to this place. Away from the evil of the world. My aching body begins to inch out from under my warm blankets, as I start walking to the bathroom.

  My parents take medication, and I know they keep it there in one of the cabinets. So maybe this medicine will relieve me of my pain, and take me to this place beyond the darkness.

  My bare feet reach the cool tile of the bathroom floor, and my heart begins to race.
I'm coming home. To this better land. I can't deal with the pain anymore. I can't.

  My hand shakily reaches into the cabinet, and I pull out a bottle of pink tablets.

  They should do the trick, so I open the bottle and pour the remaing few into my mouth.

  Right as I swallowed down my saviors, the door opens.

  "Honey, are you o-" But before she could finsh her sentence, she gasps as I collapse on the cold floor.

|•••|

Beep. Beep. Beep.

My eyes flutter open to the sound of loud beeping. Is this that better place I hoped to be? It's very white. Very quite. It's like I'm in nothing, but something. Where am I? This can't be the better place.

"She's awake." A deep voice states. What? I'm awake? Does that mean I'm not dead?

"Oh. Thank God." A voice, a womens voice says. I know it all too well.

Mom.

"Honey, are you okay? Can you hear me?"

I try to muster up some words, but all I can do is nod my head. My mouth feels dry, dessert dry. My head feels like I've been shot a hundred times, and my stomach aches for food.

  I'm not dead. I'm still alive. Part of me is happy. Part of me is angry that I'm still in this evil place. But most of me is just confused.