short myths (that I made up)

Sarahphinas Curse               

One day long into the past, there was a young girl named Sarahphina.  She’s a full-blooded goddess and the daughter of Hermes.  But a goddess with no domain isn’t really a goddess at all, is it?  Sarahphina was convinced that she was useless and simply a burden to all gods and humans alike.  Eventually Sarahphina met a young demi-god, Alexia, much like Sarahphina herself both doubting the good they could possibly do. 

Years and years past and while neither of them aged Alexia started to see their possible ability to aid the Gods.  But Sarahphina’s conviction would not let up.  She still believed that both of them were, and always would be unable to do anything helpful.  Sarahphina felt as though Alexia was being fed information from someone else.  Getting these crazy ideas that – well in Sarahphinas mind – would never work. 

Alexia was the offspring of Apollo but the only gift she got was prophecy and even that was only snippets and flashes, never any full or comprehensible information.  Alexia had never told Sarahphina about her “gift” she never thought that it really mattered.  Any information that she did get and understand wasn’t useful at all just humans doing deeds of one sort or another.  But one day, in one of Alexia’s visions she saw Sarahphina surrounded by a group of humans that seemed to be looking up at her, listening to whatever she was saying very intently.  Alexia wasted no time in telling this new information to Sarahphina and as soon as godly possible they were on earth acting and passing themselves off as regular humans. 

Back in that day and time all humans prayed and I mean prayed, all the time.  They prayed as soon as they woke up, before they ate anything, before they went to bed, before any sort of competition or test, they prayed for good fishing or hunting, for unborn children and just because they always wished to please the Gods.

After a few years had passed every one knew Sarahphina but Alexia was never really one for attention.  Every day Sarahphina would lie, play pranks, and steal from humans, which got Zeus curious as to what she hoped to gain from burdening his precious humans.  But he was very busy with other pressing matters of new gods and goddesses that everyone seemed to be bombarding him with. 

Sarahphina on the other hand was beginning to believe that she knew more about humans than Zeus and wanted to test her idea.  Only she didn’t want to get caught if something did happen to go wrong.  Being the cunning offspring of Hermes she was, Sarahphina decided to use Zeus’ own lovely creations against him. 

Sarahphina spent many nights talking to groups of teenage humans getting them all to, for 24 hours, never speak a clear truth.  In the end she had a date set, a mind full of mischief, and exactly 1000 teenagers willing to participate.

Finally it was the day Sarahphina had been waiting for.  All of the teenagers recruited had lied while praying as they awoke. Some praying things like; I pray that I fail miserably on my physical exam today, or I hope my father drowns fishing today.  Sarahphina’s personal favorite was when a mother had asked her daughter if she looked all right for church her child had said,

“Mother you look absolutely horrendous and shouldn’t leave the house for the better of this town’s eyes.”  Zeus’ previous suspicion was now turned to outrage but there were no traces of god like trickery, that was, until Zeus had a little run in with Alexia who had been trying for days to talk to him and tell what Sarahphina had done. Alexia had thought that it was all her fault, that if she hadn’t told Sarahphina about the humans then none of this would have happened.  She apologized to Zeus but he would have none of it.  Zeus was always fair and understanding.  Zeus, sometimes though he made rash decisions, he always did his best for giving proper judgment. 

“Alexia you will not be punished, I promise. It was not your fault. You saw what you thought was a happy future for your friend.  It is not your fault that things did not turn out the way you had hoped.  It is now time that I have a little conversation with our dear Sarahphina, don’t you think?” Zeus asked but it was more of a comment than a question.

Taking that, as her dismissal, Alexia left, going nowhere in particular but constantly worried about her best friend. 

Meanwhile Sarahphina was interrupted in her peaceful sleep by a blaringly loud voice in her head.

“SARAHPHINA ALINA YOU BETTER BE IN FRONT OF ME IN TWO WING BEATS OR YOUR PUNISHMENT WILL BE EVEN MORE SEVERE!” she heard repeated in her sleep muddled mind.  All Sarahphina really caught was the urgency and the fact that he used both her Greek and Roman names.

“Really, both names Zeus, you pulled that old trick?” Sarahphina replied sounding rather bored.

“Yes young lady you and I need to have a little talk.”  Zeus responded evasively.

As Sarahphina went to Zeus in his temple upon Olympus she knew she had been caught and was about to pay dearly for her crime against both humans and gods alike. 

“Wow!  Zeus who peed in your nectar this morning?”  Sarahphina asked in a sickly sweet tone. 

“You young lady are in deep trouble for your heinous crimes.  Do you know what you have done?” Zeus ranted angrily.  Before Sarahphina could interrupt Zeus continued.  “You have introduced corruption into the clean minds of the teenage population, and doubt in their gods!  You have practically guaranteed yourself certain torture!  I will do what I can to rid my humans from such treachery!”  But before Zeus could go any further Sarahphina interrupted, rather boldly I might add.

“I’m sorry Zeus, I really might be. Its not that I don’t dislike you it’s that I comprehend your mistakes.  And I truly believe that you may or may not possibly desire somebody on earth feeding you proper misinformation.”

After hearing Sarahphinas rather confusing claim Zeus was too confused to fully understand what he had just been told.  And knowing that she still needed to be punished he did the only thing his muddled brain could come up with.

“Sarahphina Alina I hear by curse you to an eternal lifetime of your own trickery, you shall never speak a clear truth ever again.”

And so it was said that Sarahphina returned to earth using what she called double negatives and sarcasm to interact with the humans.  At first none of them understood what she was trying to say and discarded her as crazy.  But as time went on and Sarahphina was able to convert teenagers and others her “age” so they began to understand and adapt to her confusing language.  Some say you can mature and grow out of Sarahphinas curse, but I believe that once you dedicate yourself to sarcasm you can’t never not go back because the simple truth is just to plain, is it not?