Chapter 12

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The alarm jumped into life beside Sarah's bed, clicking the snooze button she hid her head under the duvet trying to catch a few more minutes of sleep. She got to the restaurant early and opened up. Mike the chef was already there to meet her. He stubbed out his cigarette and greeted her at the door.

"Morning Mike"

"Morning Sarah. Here we go again" he smiled

"Did you enjoy your extra day off yesterday?"

"It was a lovely surprise" he grinned.  "I took my girls off for the day, we went to the park and fed the ducks"

"We should get inside and open up" Sarah replied quickly as she thought back to what she had done yesterday in the park with Matt.  She prayed no-one had seen her.

The day was busy enough.  The restaurant was full all day with constant streams of people coming in and out.  Matt and Foggy arrived in around lunch time, they ate their lunch and didn't stay around to chat.  They were heading off to the garage to collect the car.  Sarah felt a twinge of guilt when she wished that the car wasn't ready and then Matt would have to stay on longer. Before leaving he came up to the counter and they agreed to meet at six like usual.  He promised to make their last night together as special as he could and Sarah smiled.  She spent the rest of the day watching the clock hoping the day would go by faster.

At exactly six o' clock Matt walked into the restaurant.  He closed the door and turned the sign around that hung on the window.  Sarah was placing the last of the chairs up on to the tables, picking up the mop that she had left at the side of the door Matt started to wash the floor.

"Thanks for your help, I'm going to miss this every evening"

"My pleasure, the quicker we get out of here the better.  I want to spend every minute with you tonight and with no interruptions from Foggy or from anyone else"

"Sounds lovely.  What have you in mind?"

"I have booked dinner for us first and then well we can take it from there"

She walked over to Matt and put her arms around his neck, they kissed and she held him a few minutes longer than usual.  Squeezing him slightly the tears started to flow.

"Hey" he said, "what's all this?"

She said nothing and just held on to him.

"I know Sarah, I know" he said softly.  "I" but he stopped and he just hugged her, "I know" he repeated

***********************

After dinner they walked hand in hand through the park, the sun had set and the humid night made the walk very pleasant.  The moon light created a silver path across the lake.

"I'm going to miss this place, it's so quiet and peaceful here compared to the busy lights and noise of New York" Matt said as he stood in front of the lake

"It will never replace Ireland but it's my home for now"

"Do you think you will ever go back?"

"I think so, maybe in a few months for a holiday.  If there was one thing I've learned from Steve's death especially after this week it is life is for living, you never know what is ahead"

"That is very true"

"I admire you Matt"

"You do?  How come?"

"You never left it bother you.  Take over you, your blindness that is.  You rose above it and look at you today, all calm and collective"

"I have my moments trust me"

"Well you impress me"

"And you impress me" he said smiling.  "If Steve was here today he would be very proud of you"

She laughed "and if Steve was alive today you would not be here Matt Murdock" she reminded him

"Good point" he laughed. "Good point"

*********************
"What time is it?" he asked

"Nearly eleven" she replied looking at her watch as they walked into her apartment.

"I can't stay tonight Sarah, I'm sorry I need to get back.  Foggy wants to be on the road early and I haven't packed anything.  This is so hard and" he choked

"I understand" she said softly, "but you don't have to leave already do you.  Can you stay a bit longer" she pleaded.  "I'm not ready to say goodbye yet"

He walked over to her and hugged her, "I'm not ready to either" he said in a low voice and took a deep breath inhaling her perfume.  "I am so not ready"

"Make love to me Matt" she whispered in his ear as she took his hand and lead him to her bedroom.

They stood at the end of her bed and kissed slowly and tenderly.  Matt unzipped Sarah's dress and it fell to the floor leaving her in a matching black bra and knicker set.  She opened his shirt buttons one button at a time and eased it off his shoulders.  Taking Sarah in his arms he carried her over to the bed and gently placed her down on to the duvet.  They kissed each other softly, deeply but passionately.  Throughout the week they had made love but this was different, this was slow and tender, more sensual.  There was a hunger in their eyes for each other but there was a deep sense of sincerity.  They made love at a slow pace, explored each others bodies. They both knew tonight was special but they also both knew this was the last time they would be together.   As Matt came he held Sarah's hand and afterwards they lay in each other's arms in silence.

"Sarah" Matt whispered after a while.  "Sarah, are you awake?"

"Hmm" she replied as she dozed slightly in his arms

"Sarah.  I hate to do this but I really should be going, it's getting late"

She squeezed him tightly said nothing but simply nodded.

"Don't get up I'll let myself out, it will be easier for both of us"

"Matt" she cried, "I" she choked. "I don't want you to go"

"I don't" he stopped tears coming to his own eyes, "I don't want to either Sarah, but I have to"

He took a deep breath, licked his lips, biting it slightly for a couple of seconds. He closed his eyes and hugged her tightly.

"Sarah, you are" he rubbed his eyes and laughed nervously.  "You are an amazing woman, you have no idea how hard this is for me"

"I've lost someone already, I'm not ready to lose you either" she sniffed

"We knew it wasn't going to be forever. It would be too hard to keep this going when I'm back studying"

"I know. I'm just being silly, of course I understand" she stopped and then said, "Matt, thank you"

"Thank me. There's no need to thank me"

"Thank you for helping me to move on. Thank you for showing me there is more to this life and more for me. Thank you for making me feel like me again, for giving me hope and and a second chance"

"I should be the one thanking you" he replied. "I really have to go Sarah. I'm sorry" he got out of the bed and got dressed.

He walked to the bedroom door

"Matt. Wait" she jumped out of bed and kissed him once more. "You look after yourself and say goodbye to Foggy for me"

"I promise" he whispered letting her go and walking out the door.

Sarah heard the apartment door close behind him and she collapsed on to the bed and cried.

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