Shadow Bite || WATTYS 2017

Chapter Fifty-One

My breathing is heavy, laborious, coming out in rapid puffs of sound that seemed to flood my ears. My heart is beating erratically in my chest, unable to stop, unable to focus on calming down to make it possible for me to actually get up. 

But I can't. 

I'm frozen in my position on the ground, knees against the pavement where waves of heat from the heavy summer night is steaming up into the dark sky. My hands are pressed flat against the ground, my head is slumped forward, my eyes are staring at the bumps and lumps of the cement, looking, but not really focusing.

Jasper is dead. 

I killed Jasper.

Jasper... oh no, Jasper...

Like some indistinct background noise I hear the howls from enemy lines drawing closer to our little team of four - no, three - fighters, minus me because I can't actually fight. That leaves two werewolves to defend us, one of which has just killed her own mother, and the other who has just witnessed me killing his twin brother.

What a golly good team we make. 

I'm in that stage when my brain hasn't yet fully comprehended what has happened, but I'm in this dream-like state, unable to grasp fantasy from reality. In this moment, I honestly wish that everything's been a fantasy. But life hasn't decided to be generous to me this time. 

The sound of heavy boots against the ground resonate in my hear, and then voices conversing urgently around me, but I can't rip my gaze from Jasper's limp body in front of me, shiny crimson liquid flowing from a gaping wound in his skull. The rock is still clutched tightly in my right hand, smeared with red, and I let it go, listening as it tumbles from my grasp, maybe to convince myself that I haven't completely lost the ability to move or control my body in the end.

"There'll be at least a dozen of Killian's fighters in our way, and with the two of us it'll mean suicide." Aiyana's voice comes out stronger and more authoritative than someone who's just killed her own mother; she pronounces each word clearly, in a commanding tone and with the discipline of a trained and experienced warrior. 

-So we do what? Wait?" Jack exclaims - again, way too calm and harsh for someone who's watched his brother be killed by one of his best friends - I probably won't remain his best friend to him after this. 

"The pack link is down, we don't know if the Alpha is dead or alive; hell! We don't even know if there's anyone left! So what do you suggest we do then pretty boy?" 

-We distract them, get them in here one by one and kill them off. Oh wait, you think I'm pretty?" I can almost imagine Jack's voice losing that edge slightly and taking on a more flattered and playful tone. 

How can he joke at this time?

"Focus." 

-I am focused.

More enemy howls break up their bickering, and for once I allow a cold feeling to seep through me and bring me back to reality. I blink, once, twice, refusing to look at the blood that has stopped flowing from Jasper and is now in a dried pool around his head, and stand up on shaky legs. Just as my knees are about to give under again I feel a strong hand grip around my waist gently and holding me upright. I look up at Jack's tender face, looking down at me with soft eyes. 

Why isn't he angry? Why isn't he trying to kill me? 

He seems to understand my unspoken question. "People around us die everyday Cami; it's the way we've been brought up, it's the only kind of life that we know." 

"B-but, Jasper-"

"-will be deeply missed." A cold voice cuts us off from the side, and at that moment I feel a surge of anger towards Aiyana. Even though she saved some of us by killing her witch of a mother, she still shouldn't be so cold-hearted at a time when Jack needs support. He should be allowed to grieve his twin brother. "If we don't move now, we'll be dead in two minutes, you got that?" The question is directed at me, because she seems to know what I mean with the stabbing glare that I'm sending her, but she doesn't seem that affected by it.