Falling Soul

Unsure

"How are you feeling today"
"The same"
"And your mom"
"The same"
"And what about this week, have you found something that makes you wanna get up in the morning yet"
I looked over at my two year therapist knowing that she knew what the answer would be so I just laid in silence staring back at the ceiling.
"Mr broden please answer the question. I need to take these notes and if I do-"
Cutting her off in annoyance I stated "Why? Why do you feel the need to ask me the same questions every day I come here? Because that method is clearly not helping me at all. You know I've walked through that door every single Friday for the past two years and not once have I walked out any happier . So what's the point of all this ? My mom still spending her money on useless sessions just to get me out of the house for a few hours so she can complain about how her son isn't perfect like the rest of the kids in this town."
And in that moment Mrs. Jackson sat in dull confusion. But then again that moment didn't exist. Coming out of my daze I blink twice before answering with a quick "No , not this week."

*******

I woke up today wishing I hadn't . I walked through the huge hallway that led to our all glass bathroom and looked at myself in the sharp clean mirror . " I'm seventeen in my last year of high school , and the only thing I have to show for it is my perfect test scores that I don't care about. I'm just a useless soul who won't amount to what my father was, no wonder my mom has a drinking problem." I brush back my dark brown hair with my narrow fingers and examine myself one last time before I jumped in the shower.

*******

On the way to school I passed by my favorite spot in this boring town, the Dark Souls Bridge. It's called that because so many people have committed suicide there. My dad told me that some of the victims souls still lurk around that bridge to haunt anyone feeling happy so they can understand what they went through. I believed everything my dad said. Even when he said he was happy .After he had slit his wrists and jumped over that bridge himself I stopped and questioned everything he had said before then.

When I finally got to East Gene High, I saw all the cliques meeting up with each other, all the cliché girls running up and screaming towards each other annoying the living hell out of everyone around them. And all the social butterflies glued to their phones so it wouldn't look like they were alone. But even they had a friend who they were eventually going to meet up with and I realized I ... had no one. Not a single soul was here for me, waiting to see me or scream "Hey" . I was the only one who was really alone. It's so crazy how you can be in a room full of people and yet still feel so lonely. I guess that's the side effect to being a messed up kid with a dead parent and another pointless suicidal one. Maybe I'll end up like my dad soon so I don't have to deal with any of this anymore.

As I walked through the doors of my first period class I was stuck standing there just staring at my high school crush, Caroline she was the most popular girl in school and made sure everyone knew how rich her daddy was. Her mother had left them for a hotter younger guy in Paris. She took half of their investments and Caroline's younger sister Beth, Who was the most evil 11 year old anyone has ever seen. Surprisingly she was worst than Caroline. Yea the only person in high school that I find interest in is the worst one in school. The only reason she knows I exist is because of my rich family. My dad was CEO for a private company that owned four other ones that each owned a list of small business and ran stores throughout a small country off the east coast of china and Australia. While my mother had two jobs, working for both the CIA and a lawyer as a part time job to fill up her time. I was basically alone for the most part of my childhood but my parents always found a way to come home for my birthdays and special holidays, when I entered my third year in junior high my dad was home a lot more than he should have been and he'd always be drinking a lot more heavier than before. I figured it was just that thing adults do when they reach a certain age but it never stopped. I came out of my daze and caught on to Caroline signaling for me to get out of her hair. I then proceed to my desk and take a seat wondering what this year has in store for me...