XIII

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Tomorrow

I laid on the massage table as I waited for the masseuse to come back in with the hot rocks.

Lately I've been out of it. Between working late nights, Bill the creeper, and David I don't know if I can keep up. I'm completely stressed out.

I'm willing to drop everything just to get a peace of mind. I haven't been this stressed out since college and I'm not going to deal with it now.

The masseuse came in and softly placed the hot rocks on my back. Hissing and moaning by the adoring heat the rocks were giving me made me shut my eyes.

Not noticing I dozed off the lady left to give me some time alone.

Beyoncé played through the speakers softly as I broke down into tears.

I'm sick and tired of being okay. I'm the one that's suppose to help people, but can't even help myself. Slipping into a depression is not what I want to do again, but I don't know what to do.

Didn't bother to call David because he just wouldn't understand me. Kia is busy with Demarco.

Sitting on the table I covered my eyes and cried my heart away.

***

After leaving the spa I sat in silence only hearing my teapot make a whistle noise notifying me the water is steaming hot and the loud thunder storm waiting to happen. I got up from the stool and proceeded to make my tea.

Hearing my phone go off I simply shut it off and continue what I was doing.

Times like this I wish I had my mother. She died of HIV because of my sick horrible father. My mom was the only one who understood me. I am who I am because of her. My mother was always the one to look after anyone who was is need. And she would always tell me 'remember you are who you are and don't change that'. Blinking the tears away I sipped the hot peppermint tea and stared at my white clean kitchen walls.

Hearing a knock on the door I stayed silent deciding on whether I should answer it.

The regular knocks became hard and loud I got up and fiercely opened it.

''Why you not answering my calls Tomorrow I been worried about you man. You know I'm trying to keep you safe from that crazy nigga. The least you can do is call me and let me know you good. I can't deal with-'' David babbled on.

I put my hand up and stopped him.

''Just please go away. I can't deal with any of this right now David. I need space from everything...work, money.....relationships.'' I trailed off.

''So you done?'' He questioned and gave me a hard stare.

''I just need time to clear my head. I'm not breaking things off I'm just stressed that's off. Need time to think about everything.'' I said.

''Shit I'm not understanding and I'm don't think I ever will if you don't open up to me. So what I'm gonna do is give you 3 days. 3 days for you to have your peace and then we talking about this. I told you I'm here and I don't plan to go anywhere so we going through this shit together.'' He said while grabbing my waist.

I nodded and looked down.

David grabbed me gave me a hug and kissed my cheek.

''Until next time...'' He saluted and walked to his car, driving off.


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