Secrets

~Fake a smile~

Lindsay's P.O.V
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I sob as the blood drips down my leg and into the bathtub. It is approximately 2:15 am and I woke having a nightmare. It was Ben and Justin just standing over my bed and whispering you can't get away. And they were trying to touch me. I cut a huge cut down my thigh and start shaking uncontrollably. Oh my gosh not a panic attack.
After about 10 minutes of watching my breathing and watching the blood dry I finally get up and crawl back into my bed. 2:30 am I have to be up at 5:15. This is just great.
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I wake up my alarm beeping annoyingly. After I hit the snooze button I creep out of bed and walk to the bathroom. After taking a shower I throw on some leggings and a sweater that says Smile on it. I blink back tears and walk out of my room.
"Morning Mom." I say as I grab my backpack.
"Oh good morning munchkin." She says while eating a doughnut. I wish I could eat a doughnut but I'm too fucking fat to eat one. I don't need the empty calories, in fact my fat ass doesn't need any calories.
"Well I'm going to head to school. Bye, see you later." I say walking out the door, not waiting for her to say bye.
With each step I take, I feel a burn on my thigh. The fabric is rubbing against the fresh cut and it hurts. As I hit my school campus I smile when my stomach growls. "Good job" I think to myself. "The hungrier you are, the more beautiful you're going to get." As I walk into the school gym I see Ronnie.
"Hey boo." She says smiling the biggest smile.
"Hi, how are you?" I ask while I fake a smile.
"I'm freaking great. Ryan wants to hang out later!" She says while doing a little dance. Ryan was a guy that Ronnie has liked for a few months now. They've been friends for a year or so and he makes her super happy.
"Oh my gosh really? That's so cool. Good luck!" I say trying to show some enthusiasm. I'm happy for her but it hurts because Ronnie literally gets any guy she says hello to. They all fall in love with her and I'm kind of the second thought. Ronnie is gorgeous so it's understandable. I wish I could look like her.
"You need to come to my house and help me get ready! Is that okay?" She says getting super serious.
"Oh my gosh! Of course! You don't even have to ask." I say my mood perking up cause I love being with Ronnie.
"Girls you need to start changing out!" The gym teacher calls out.
As Ronnie and I walk to the locker room I hear a familiar voice.
"Bro I swear she's a hoe. I'm done with her." I hear the voice say.  As I turn around I see Andrew and his friends. That's why the voice was familiar. Andrew and I make eye contact and he smirks at me. I just turn and keep walking so I don't look stupid.
"And I'm thinking of wearing that one so. Lindz are you listening to me?" I hear Ronnie say.
"Yeah totally." I reply shaking Andrew out of my mind.
"Okay good. Anyway yeah so I'll wear the white one." She says literally shaking with excitement. I walk into the locker room and run into one of the stalls. I never change in front of people. They'll ask about my scars and cuts and I don't feel like answering any questions. I change into black ankle length yoga pants and an oversized pink shirt and walk out of the stall.  When Ronnie is done getting changed we go out to the gym and start doing laps. Everyone does about five laps around the gym while I do ten.  I'm always trying to get the most amount of exercise to burn extra calories. While I'm doing my last one I feel a pair of eyes on me. Looking around I see Ronnie staring and then I see Andrew. When we make eye contact he just smirks. I look away quickly and walk over to Ronnie.
"Hey why do you run so much? All we have to do is five." Ronnie says giving me the most serious look I've seen out of her.
" I don't know I just like running." I exclaim catching my breath. When I say that she dies of laughter.
"I wish I liked running. Now I know how you stay so thin." She replies in between laughs. Thin? Is she crazy?
"Ronnie you are perfect. Stop" I say giving her a small smile.
"Girls! Time to work on spiking!" The gym teacher yells. In our gym class the girls are working on volleyball and the boys on indoor soccer. While Ronnie and I work on our spiking I feel a soccer ball hit my thigh really hard. I wince hard and stumble back.
"Lindz! Are you okay?" I hear Ronnie yell at me.
"Yes Ronnie it was just a soccer ball." I say getting up.
"That hit you really hard!" She says running to my side.
"Ronnie I'm fine. Stop it's fine." I say picking up the soccer ball and looking around. When I look up I see Andrew staring right at me.
Andrew's P.O.V
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I stand frozen in my spot and try to move.  She's so graceful and mysterious. Like I said before, I like mysteries. What the fuck are you doing? She's just another girl. I hear myself think.  When I zone back in I realize I'm staring. Lindsay looks at me and quickly looks at the gym floor.
"Is this yours?" She says her voice so small.
"Can you fucking speak up?" I say looking at my friends and laughing.
"Is this yours?" She says obviously repeating herself.
"Yeah its mine. Why the fuck does it matter to you?" I say looking her in the eyes.
"Well it hit me in the leg and-" She starts saying and then I cut her off.
"Yeah whatever. Go back to your friend. Oh can you tell her she's hot?" I reply. When I finish my sentence I see her flinch.
"Yes I'll tell her." She says so softly I almost don't hear her. 
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Finally I updated! It has been so long and I apologize. I appreciate all the comments to update the the story and I'm glad you guys like it. I'm finishing all my books until otherwise announced. Again I'm really sorry but it'll get better I promise!