Lauremi- keeping Secrets

chapter 5

Lauren p.o.v

"So?" Ally questioned at me. It's not that I don't like them I mean they all seam like decent people but I can't let go of that year and what had happened.

I was in the middle year of high school and I was beginning to settle back into my routine of keeping be my head down and doing the work. Or so I thought.
Some of the popular people in my year that I had had a massive fall out with the previous year decided that it was a good idea to pick on me.
I had notes and rumors spread all around my school and people believed them. I felt so humiliated and it got so much I refused to attend school daily.
My parents got involved at school but it only made it worse, they started hitting me.
That's when I first did it.
I cut.
I felt so ashamed and guilty so I hid it.
It started to ware down and this girl I liked asked me out.
We dated for 2 months and it was magical and I loved her. On our 2 month anniversary she took me to the top of the hill for a picnic but when I got there we weren't alone.
All of my bullies where up there and beat me calling me queer. sicko. Fat. Bitch. Ugly. Useless.
That was the first night I purged.
I didn't go to school after that and I ran from home. I hated myself everyday and I took it out on myself, I cut myself everyday for 5 months and whatever I ate I got rid of immediately. I was depressed and suicidal and was about to act on it and I did.
However my parents found me and I made a recovery, they told me that we were moving so that all of this would go away but little did they know I'm still suffering and I will never tell them that. I can't ever tell anyone as they will think I'm a freak and that I deserve all of this. I can never let anyone find out ever.
But I have to answer Ally's question and I have to lie.

"My mum got a work placement over here and we all decided to move as it was easier and convenient for us all" I say praying they won't pry but by the looks of Perrie and Demi I don't think they believe my story.

"Well we're all glad that you came here as then we could all meet you as we all agree that you are a very special addition to our group" Jade piped up happily believing my story.

I really hope none of them pry into it deeper as I don't think I could handle that but it looks like I have escaped lunch for today as the bell just sounded for next period.

We all scraped up all our things and rushed off to next lesson but before I could an arm stopped me.

I looked up to see Perrie's eyes staring into mine accusingly and my eyes dart quickly away.

"Sorry for the sudden Holt but I just wanted to let you know that I am the rest of the girls are all here for you no matter what" she said her eyes looking soft yet sad as they peered into mine. But before I could respond she kissed my cheek and briskly walked off to next period.

I don't want to get close to them as they may find out but at the same time I really wish someone would rescue me as I'm drowning and yelling for help isn't an option.

A/n hey guys I know it's been a while and I'm sorry for that but I'm just wanting to get your feedback from this so far and any ideas you may have as mine need improving, anyway thanks for waiting xx -k