Attraction - a fraudulent marriage

15. pitfalls

This is the revised version of Attraction

I was thoroughly out of sorts. The feeling seemed to seep into my bones and make them heavier than normal. I should have been restless, bursting with too much pent-up energy, but instead I'd fallen into this hole. I hated that shit-fest of a dungeon, always had.

I cranked up the volume on the speakers I'd brought to Tom's place. They were another thrift store find, and the sound was sub-par—hollow and flat at the same time. It was all my sorry ass could afford until I was allowed to work. Lara had told me to be super careful while we waited for my papers to get properly processed. No more gigs with money under the table.

I could have called my friends, but I was afraid they'd ask too many weird questions about Tom. I was pretty sure they wondered why the hell I'd married a guy I barely knew, but I had a hard enough time questioning myself. If only Adam had been in town. He was off to some photo shoot with Cameron again.

At least Tom had a comfortable rug in the living room. I ran my fingers along the tufts, staring mindlessly through the window. Everything was vibrant outside, far more alive than inside this strangely soulless condo. All I saw were skyscrapers and the clear blue sky, but it was enough to know that people milled on the streets below. They had a purpose.

I let out a deep sigh, feeling more than a little bit tired of myself. The sharp edges of my shoulder blades finally tired of the rug, or perhaps it was the other way around. Anyway, it was time to do something else.

The blue leaflet lying on the counter seemed to scream at me to pick it up and make use of it. A girl wearing a bright red wig and oversized sunglasses had placed it in my hand with a wide smile two days ago. I had a feeling it was fate knocking on my door, but for some reason I wasn't all that interested in following up.

Auditions open.

The title was written in bold as if that alone would make me interested in drama. I loved acting, and had spent the better part of the last few years in different classes and various plays, but it felt as if I'd left that life behind somehow. Moving from one continent to another had changed everything, and it was a change I'd been desperate to make. Stockholm had drained me slowly but without any kind of mercy.

I read the leaflet again and checked my phone. Days had blurred together since Tom left, but as I expected, today was the last day of auditions. It would be terrible of me to show up unprepared and expect anything, but perhaps I could meet some people to mute the sound of loneliness.

It couldn't hurt, at least.

****

The dark room held all the characteristics of a rehearsal space for a pretentious-but-pissy drama group. I'd regretted my decision to come as soon as I'd stepped through the door, but since I'd come all this way my ego begged to be heard and seen. My drama queen had been hiding for too long. Or maybe not.

A guy clutching his script a bit too tight entered the makeshift stage, staring at the two people making notes. The woman who had introduced herself as director nodded in a brief command for the guy to begin. She had a bird's nest on her head which I thought suited the situation perfectly.

The poor guy radiated nervousness, white as a sheet with twitching fingers. He was kind of cute in that nerdy way that some people found adorable. I wasn't much of a fan. I liked my men calm and confident. Men like Tom.

His reading was appalling, which shouldn't have surprised me too much. The role he'd chosen was entirely wrong as well. You don't try Shakespeare if you can't get the rhythm right. At the same time, I was rather relieved that I wasn't the only one who would read something that had nothing to do with the obscure play they'd picked to perform. I didn't recognize the title, and the short session I'd spent on Google to find out more about the plot and the characters had proved rather fruitless.