Paper Wings

-One-

Two weeks ago, January 19

White flakes of snow fell from the chalk dusted sky. Chelsea looked at me and laughed.

"Addy, come build a snowman with me!"

I shook my head. I had a better idea. "Let's go sledding," I said.

She smiled and we took the sleds from the front porch. We looked at each other and ran around the house to the steep hill in our backyard.

Despite the cold winter air, the sun was gleaming on Chelsea's face like a spotlight. The snow on the ground seemed to be jeering at us, as if daring us to go play.

I wanted to be the first one down the hill, like every year on the first snowfall. Chelsea said it was only fair that I wanted to be first. She told me years ago that since I was born second, I should be first down our "mini mountain" every year.

Before second guessing myself, I gently set myself down on my sled and kick off for a headstart. Without turning around I knew Chelsea was following me.

I felt the breeze on my gloveless fingers. We don't have much money at home, and I had torn holes in my old pair of gloves.

As my sled skidded to a stop by the edge of a tree's roots, I glanced around for Chelsea. I didn't see her.

"Chelsea!" I shouted. "Where are you?" When no reply came, I panicked. I stood, and looked back up the sledding path I had made.

"Oh my God," I whispered.

Chelsea was lying motionless beside a tree, blood slowly trickling from her head into the snow.

I broke into a sprint back up the path. I knelt when I reached her body. I put her wrist in my palm, thankful when I felt a heartbeat.

"Hold on," I whispered. "I'll get help." I turned and ran toward the house. "Please hold on," I thought.

***

Later that day I was instructed to sit in the waiting room. Thoughts of Chelsea rushed through my mind. Mainly, it was all my fault. I stared at the clock on the wall and waited for a nurse or doctor to tell me it was all a mistake, that Chelsea was fine, and that we could all go home soon, but I knew it wouldn't happen. I focused on the tiles on the floor and didn't notice Chelsea's nurse walking in.

She cleared her throat, so I looked up at her deep blue eyes. They would have reminded Chelsea of the ocean. She looked at me with a sympathetic face. Oh no. I thought.

She shook her head. Her monotone voice told me, "I'm sorry." That's all she said, but it was all I needed to know what she meant.

Chelsea was never coming home.

I wanted to scream.

No! I thought. No, no, no! This isn't happening! I felt tears fall down my face, and I fell to my knees.

"No," I whispered.

***