Chapter 1
Tylissa woke with a start and felt the sweat drip down her neck. Her breathing was erratic and she was scared, so very scared. Her heart felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest. She could hardly breathe and her long, blond hair was plastered to her neck. It was dark and she looked around paranoid that someone was there watching her. She was sure that she could feel someone in the room. She could feel them watching her and the fear, almost tangible, made her feel like she was going to throw up. She couldn’t stand the feeling, but also felt there was no way to calm her beating heart. She wasn’t sure how she could be going through this again when she knew she was safe.
That’s what she had to think about. She was safe. She was in her basement apartment in her grandmother’s house. She was safe in spite of the sweat dripping down her neck and her heart in her throat. She was sure that she was going to have a heart attack if these nightmares kept on like this. That’s what it was, a nightmare. Just the realization made her heart calm down, though her mind was still going a million miles a minute. She simply couldn’t calm it down also, and her imagination was something else. She’d had more nightmares just from her imagination than any movie she’d watched, or real life experience she’d gone through. This was different though. This was real; she’d been through this more times than she liked to talk about.
That’s something too. She didn’t like to talk about it. She didn’t like to tell anyone that she’d been though something so horrific. Really, who could possibly understand? No one had been through what she’d been through. Not many people could claim to be where she’d been.
Still clinging white knuckled to her blankets she realized that she needed to relax and look around more closely. She glanced at her clock, still imagining she saw shadows move, and she could sense someone in the room. As the digital face claimed it was 5:30 in the morning she decided to get an early start and not try going back to sleep knowing what was waiting for her when her mind was left to its own devices.
Slowly she got out of the covers and clinched her eyes shut waiting still for someone to jump out of the darker parts of the room. Then as her feet hit the floor, hurried over to the wall to turn on the light before someone could grab her if they were hiding under the bed. Taking a deep breath she once again thought of how stupid to think like that as an adult. She couldn’t believe she was letting a past experience get to her like this. She couldn’t believe that she couldn’t control her fears and emotions better than this.
She hated that counseling didn’t work and she hated that she was so afraid of her own shadow. As she went to the bathroom to start the shower and her daily routine she glanced into the mirror and realized she hated being afraid of that more than anything. She must be the only adult alive that was completely afraid of looking directly into the mirror. Look at an angle, that’s what she always did. She’d look at her hair as she did it, she looked at her eye lashes as she put on her mascara, but she couldn’t look directly into her own eyes. She couldn’t stand what she saw there, couldn’t stand that she was so very afraid of her own reflection. She knew why she was too.
Driving on her way to work she concentrated on the music and just relaxing and enjoying the beautiful day. So much was not beautiful, was dark and brought fear. On beautiful days she had the chance to remember there was amazing things in the world also. There were beautiful days, and beautiful people. Sometimes she had to work to remember that.
She drove up to her work, so amazed she was able to pull this place off. She had decided it was needed. So many mothers were working outside of the home now. So many children needed a safe place that they could go when their mothers were at work, so she figured she’d make it. Home for the Children was her place, where she could feel safe as well as helping the kids that she was responsible for feel that too.
