Markiplier Fanfiction
There is a very strong sench of eggnog in Mark's room. He slowly wakes up from a long night of parting with Bob, Wade, and Jack.
"Hngg" says Mark, as he slowly reaches for his glasses. He puts them on and gets out of bed, only to find that there is a lot of guinness on the floor
"Dammit Jack"
he whispers as he steps over the puddle of, what he hopes, is guinness. He then opens the door to see that his whole house is trashed.
"What the fucking hell!!?"
He runs out down the stairs, almost tripping on MORE guinness that was spilled at the top of the steps. H then runs around his house, flipping out.
"What the fucking fuck!!"
He picks up a small blender.
"What the fuck is that?"
There is a pink object in it, so Mark takes out the mystery substance.
"A.....a fucking dildo???"
He tosses it across the room, horrified, he tries to sit down, but of course, there are more didlos on the chair.
"T..this place is a fucking dump"
He now wonders something.
"Where is everybody?"
Mark then walks around the house to find at least SOMEONE. The house is pretty vacant.
"Hello?"
He calls out...No response
"Hey, anyone here?"
He calls out again...nothing
"Fuck...maybe they're hung over too"
Mark searches all of the rooms, under the beds, drawers, closets, sheets, and even the garage.
No one.
"Where the fuck is everybody? They were too hungover to drive, so where are they?"
Just as he was about to give up, he hears a toilet flush. Mark runs through the house, up the stairs to the bath room, and opens the door. He sees a small Irishman with green hair, surrounded in long, pink, dildos.
"Oh god Jack, what the fuck did you do?"
"I, kinda bought a shit ton of dildos for all of ye last night"
"B...but why?"
"Hmm..i don't know" Jack walks out of the bathroom, while zipping his pants up.
"This fuckin place is trashed"
"Yea, i kinda noticed"
"EY! No sass, we need the ass"
"What? The fuck did you smoke yesterday?"
"LS fuckin D"
"What??? Why"
"Why the fuck not, what, ye got a problem?"
"No"
"Good" Jack then walks down the stairs and straight to the kitchen.
"So Mark, how many bitches were there?"
"Uhh, probably 20"
"Holy fuck, really?"
"Hell no, who would want to hang out with us 27 year old creepy dudes?" Jack shrugs
"True" He opens the fridge. A naked old man comes out and screams.
"What the actual fuck? How did he get in?" Said Mark
"Hell if i know" Jack rolls up a newspaper and whacks the man.
"Get out of here, you hung over old dude!"
The man doesn't budge.
"If you dont fuckin move, im shoving one of these didlos up your ass!"
He slowly moves away. Jack whacks the man with the dildo, and the man shrieks again.
"Leave!"
He finally gets up and jumps out of the open window. Mark is speechless.
"Well, that's over, finally"
"Wh..what the hell"
"What? He wanted in the party, so why the fuck not" Jack causally moves some strewn garbage around. There was a knock on the door.
"I'll get it, you've done enough damage to this house"
"Whatever" He sits down on a (Surprisingly) clean chair
Mark opens the door. A tall man greets him (He's tall to Mark because he's so smol). The man had huge muscles with a hilarious baby face. He talked in a deep voice.
"Hello, im officer Sancho" He pulls out a paper.
"I got reports from your neighbors that there was a mass party here" He then writes down on his note pad.
"Woah waoh, no need to give me a fine, no one was hurt here" said Mark.
"Whats going on out there?" Jack gets up and walks behind Mark.
"Oh, is this your lover?" said the officer. Mark blushes a little.
"N-No, i'-m not gay, and he has a girlfriend"
Jack can't help himself from laughing.
"Oh, that's a shame, i love gay couples, their so cute" Soncho hands them the fine.
"$5000???" says Mark
"Yea, its for disrupting the peace...but, i could drop the price if you two kiss"
"Umm, no, sorry" said Mark
"The price drop would be 75%" Jack whispers into Marks ear.
"Thats $3000 less"
"No its not, idiot, its $3075"
"Whatever"
"So, will you do it?" said Sancho
"Umm"
"Just fuckin do it Ma-" Mark quickly smooches Jack on the lips. They both blush.
"OHHHH so cute, ok, you get the discount, cuties <3"
"O-Ok bye" Mark closes the door and turns to Jack.
"Holy fuck Mark, no hesitation.."
"Y-Yea"
"Maybe we can extend it, in the bedroom~" Mark blushes.
"O-Ok"
They walk up to Mark's room and open the door. They walk to the bed and get under the covers.
"Are you ready?~" said Jack
"F-For what?" said Mark
"Are you ready for WWE'S JOHN CENA PERFORMANCE????" The John Cena theme plays, as Mark and Jack watch the match on the edge of the bed.
The End
lol i bet you sinners thought i would make yaoi
SHAME
YOU ARE READING
Legit Markiplier Fan Fic
Fanfic~~I WROTE THIS 2 YEARS AGO AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO PUT IT HERE OK B YE~~ many spelling errors kept in (on purpose)
