Bending The Rules

Chapter 8

CH8
A/N: There may be a trigger to some of those who have faced this (physical abuse) in personal life; if so, I am dreadfully sorry. (Believe me; it's not for shock value. We need to know a bit of what is happening to the characters so that we can address behaviours and plots! Also, I have to go tinkering into some ugly and dark times in my past to dredge up emotions that would make Ana's memories realistic!)
Sadly, there is no Mr. Grey in this chapter...
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Ana POV
When school finished I started to walk through the throngs of students and headed toward home. I inhale deeply and take in the pleasant fragrance of the 'just here and now'; it is such a luxury to be able to be leisurely strolling, instead of that absurd and frantic pace I had to pick up when I was back in Texas. This definitely wasn't like with mom when I had to hurry and get home before my stepfather did.
Ray had given me a set of keys to the house, so I'd naturally let myself in while he was at work. He made me feel much more at home than my mom and her husband ever had, and I couldn't be more grateful for the move.
I still recall that ugly memory of when I suggested the topic leaving home to mom. I really thought that I'd finally gained an ally, but I was not expecting to see the brief flash of guilt in her eye before it was replaced by fear. Fear for whom...
"What will Ed say?" my mom frowned. "Anastasia I don't think this is a good idea-"
I looked at my mother; my eyes broken and pleading, "He is being abusive, mom."
"He is not," she insisted. "You just have to learn to listen to him. He's a very strict man but he only wants what is best for us. I understand you may feel that way—but you have to try too, Ana."
In that moment I was in a maelstrom of emotions. Time stopped; my epiphany roiling and coiling to the surface. Adrenaline, like sweet, sweet blood and salt coursed through my veins. My eyes hardened and my lips tightened into a hard line. I could not believe that my mom was even saying this! What is worse is that I think she really believes what she is saying is true. No matter what the outcome was to be, I still had this very moment. "Mom, its one thing is to be strict, but he's just a tyrant! Making me miss school just for his whimsical beck and call? I'm units behind in math and I have a big test on a book I never even read—"
"Maybe you should stop wasting your time whining to your mother about me and start doing your work," a gravelly voice came from the doorway.
I stiffened, but so did mom. The static in the room was palpable.
"Jesus Ana, don't antagonize him," my mother hissed. Ed stood like a behemoth; his eyes are red and watery and his hands are clenched into fists. A monster in a ridiculous suit and tie forever burrowed itself in my memory.
"I'll take care of this honey; I've told you Ana just needs a little more discipline."He pushed off from the doorway and unlatched his belt and began to slide it from his belt loops. He then palmed the buckle and bound the leather tightly around his fist.
My mother narrowed her eyes at me and then backed away slowly. Pleading (or something close to it) hit her eyes and then instantly dissolved. I have no ally here; she will either leave me out of fear or by her general indifference. I searched down to the core of my being to find something—anything to make me braver. This is not going to happen anymore. I narrowed my eyes and forced myself to stand a little taller...
"I'm moving back home with Ray," I declared, but with a small quiver in my tone.
Ed raised an eyebrow, "And who exactly—do you think—gave you permission to do that?"
"I called Ray; he said he's happy to have me coming back home. He already sent me the money I need to get there, so you don't have to worry about spending a friggin' penny!"
"You're not going," he ordered. "Besides, what's Ray to you? Nothing, that's what, he's not your father—"
"He's more of a father to me than you could ever be, you sick bastard. I don't know why mom ever married you, you slimy son of a bitch— if she ever knew what you do to me when she's gone—"
"Shut up," he interrupted. "You don't know shit." Spittle hung from his lip and he cleared it away with his sleeve. He started barrelling toward me like a locomotive.
I felt myself go braver. I was ready to take whatever punishment he was ready to dole out; it was now or never, and I certainly wasn't going to stay here anymore. Freedom away from this man was small consolation of the impending pain I knew I'd receive. "I do. The only reason she believes all your stupid lies is—"
In a second's time the back of his hand struck my face. I subtly remember the bite of the leather and the sound of the air displacing and protesting as if it were insulted for the intrusion. My ears rang, instantly causing the automatic bodily response of tears to form in my eyes. It's odd the things like this that you remember...
I flew back and landed on the credenza. Broken glass embedded in my arms and hands. Little rivulets of blood trickled down my forearms and raced to be the first to fall...
I slowly peel my body away from the credenza and turn toward him. My lungs were wheezing and fought to suck in a breath. I staggered a bit but I had just enough balance to keep my stance. More trickles of blood flowed from my hairline and my eyes were still fighting to keep the teardrops from falling. I wanted to hold my palm to my cheek, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing how much it hurt. I was close to losing it; the hard lump in the throat was a dull throbbing sentry at the gate always alerting to the presence of escaping tears. Besides, he'd done much worse to me already...
"She doesn't want to admit to herself of the monster you are," I laughed. There was no sane way to end what just happened, but hysterics were setting in and my only response was to laugh. It certainly wasn't funny, but it was either that or facing what I was feeling. Right now laughter seemed the best option.
Ed didn't reply, he only glared and mouthed 'Just you wait'...
I pushed my hair to the side, my hand leaving a crimson smear across my face. I looked at my mother. I cocked my head; the blank look in her eyes was confusing to me. I felt indignation in her lack of interference in what Ed was doing but my heart was saying that maybe she was too far gone and shut down to be any help to me.
Adrenalin is good. It's like heroin bubbling on the spoon. Both promise a sweet, sweet release. But they also leave you crashing with feelings of emptiness when all is said and done. It compels me to boldly stroll past him, bang him with my shoulder, and head to the phone. I booked the next flight to Rays. I then call Ray letting him know when to expect me. I was so relieved when it was his voicemail that picked up. It took all the strength I had left to hide the pain and anxiety in my words.
Ed just stood there like a linebacker ready to tackle. He was panting and his hands were still leather-bound iron balls. My mother made feeble attempts to please and assuage him. She stroked him and made cooing sounds.
This was my last night there...
I had no to time to let my cuts and bruises heal before I went to Ray's. I tried so hard to hide my discomfort, but the limping, the bruises, and the cuts could not be masked. I remember walking into the passenger pick up area and when our eyes met, I saw his hopeful joyous eyes take in mine and his face just sank. His eyes were soft with sorrow, but I saw the uncontrollable anger behind them. I thought that his anger would terrify me, but I know one inescapable truth; this anger was for me, not toward me.
His eyes were red; he opened his arms and embraced me. He just held me softly and didn't speak. I fought my tears again, but they weren't for me. They were for him; feelings make him awkward and I know he'd never want press for information. I know that Ray would take me home, tuck me in with a cup of tea on my bedside table and sit beside me letting me cry until I fell asleep. I know that he would wait for me when I was ready to discuss this...
"Ana!" a shrill voice broke me from my reverie. "God, you finally notice me. I've been shouting for a while now!" Kate threw her thumb back and wiped away a nonexistent bead of sweat.
"I'm sorry," I responded sheepishly. "I guess I was in La La Land." I have got to hold my defenses better and stop that particular memory from popping its head...
"It's okay," Kate softened. "You have anything to do right now?"
"Not really, no. Just heading home," I answered.
"You should come over," she grinned. "Ethan is back there getting the car but I came to find you, hoping we can hang out."
I tugged the sleeves of my down over my knuckles, "I don't know if I should. I have homework for Mr. Grey to complete."
Kate rolled her eyes, "We can do homework together. Ethan is bringing a friend over and it's only fair that I have someone there too. I can drive you back home afterward."
"Who's Ethan?"
"Oh, right, I'll introduce you when we see him, he's a tot—"
A loud beep came from a car, startling Kate by how close it came. "Kate!"
"—A total ass," she finished off with a grumble. "So, see—you have to come with me, please."
I wanted to say no, but I saw how Kate's eyes went into puppy dog mode and then the next thing I know is that I agreed.
Kate and I slid into the back seat of the sleek, shiny car. I greeted the driver and he was just as beautiful as Kate. How can I possibly be in the same car with these beautiful people...
"This is Ana," Kate informed, pulling her seatbelt over her. "Ana, that's my arse of a brother, Ethan."
Ethan looked up to his rear view mirror and mock saluted me. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Ana."
"Likewise," I mumble back.
"I'd introduce this dork but he's not important," Ethan said, tipping his head to the boy next to him.
"Oh shut up," the boy scoffed.
Kate didn't comment on that, "How much homework do you have to do?"
I shrugged, "An essay, some worksheets, a couple of readings-"
"You sure you don't want to transfer out? We can go to your counselor's office tomorrow morning and have Grey pushed out of your schedule like that," she snapped her fingers.
"Oh no, she doesn't have that asshole Grey does she?"
"She does," Kate grieved.
"Get out while you can, kid," Ethan said seriously. "He busted my ass all last year; I barely passed his damn class."
"He doesn't seem that bad," I murmured, only to get wary head shakes from both Ethan and Kate.
X x X
It wasn't long before I was sitting on the floor of Kate's huge living room, with my binder on my lap, and a tray of Chinese food beside me. I was becoming relaxed which was a welcome relief.
"Start with the essay," Kate suggested, taking up noodles with her chopsticks.
"The worksheets will be easier," Ethan said through a mouthful of food. He had since given up on chopsticks and reverted back to using his fork.
He and his friend had offered to buy Chinese and rent a couple of DVDs. And now here we are, Kate and I on the floor, and Ethan sprawled out on one couch, and his friend on the other.
"The essay will take up more time," I said, mostly to myself. "I'll start with this."
"Watch the movie," Ethan groaned, reaching out to take my binder. "We'll help you with your homework later, besides this isn't due tomorrow is it?"
I was beginning to vacillate; I wanted to impress Mr. Grey with how fast I was able to work but I also wanted enjoy my new found freedoms, "No, I guess not."
"So see, just enjoy the movie and the food," he smiled, tossing my binder to the coffee table.
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A/N: Anyone notice the references to the sea that are throughout this story... Today's reference is 'maelstrom' LOL!
Also, Mom needs a reality check –or an abuse counselor. She is beyond deluded!
P.S.: I'm glad to see that Ana found the beginnings of her cajones! (She's still a little non-assertive to her needs, but still, hey...she's trying!)
Before you all go vilifying me about this chapter, the realism, or that' a mom wouldn't behave like this...' I have first-hand knowledge of these things or have known friends of who have had this happen. I have a future storyline with mom, but for now she is in an abusive relationship herself and needs to sort her shit out before she can make peace and reconcile with Ana...