Forgetting My Demon

1

"I gave you specific instructions..." I could see his eyes start to glow dark crimson, flashing as if to say "Jason's not home right now". He slaps me so hard that I fall to the ground, my back sliding against the wall, holding my face in my hands. "DID YOU JUST CHOOSE TO IGNORE THEM?!" He stood, towering over where I was slumped against the wall.
He dug his sharp nails into the light skin on my arm, more scars. "I CONTROL YOU." He raised his hand, about to strike me again, when his grip on my arm lessened. He blinked rapidly. Eventually his eyes went back to their natural warm brown. The demon retreated inside him, and the flames surrounding him seemed to die off. He sunk down next to me, he can never look at me after these things happen. That's the one thing that hasn't changed... even after all these years.
Most of the times we'll fight, and I'll say "it's not really you", and he'll go, "but it is me", and we'll go back and forth until one of us storms off. It's usually me. I think about leaving him sometimes... I peeked in between my folded arms and saw him, cheeks glistening wet with tears. Part of me wants to comfort him, but another part of me is focused on the throbbing in my cheek, on the memory of past bruises.
Fuck it, I'll do anything for Jason, even on the days when I don't get to hear his light beautiful voice. On his good days he calls it a curse, and on his bad days... a gift. I told myself to scoot closer. I pulled him into my arms, "I'm sorry J.", I buried my face in the crook of his neck. He pushed me back lightly, to look in my eyes.
The pain that was in his eyes before has been washed out by the tears and was replaced with a deep sadness. I try and stop myself from thinking about what I'll see in his eyes once his soul is completely gone. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his lap. He sighed heavily and stroked my hair, for a minute I can't help but to think that he actually cares.
"No... I'm sorry... I cant believe I ... here let me see...", I turned my face and winced as he brushed his fingers lightly across my stinging cheek. "I'm so sorry...", he sounded so broken. I leaned my head on his chest and closed my eyes. He lifts my chin with his finger, and he kisses me softly. I relish in the touch and taste of his mouth as we lazily explore and move with eachother in rhythm.
We stayed like that for a while, forgetting the bad and becoming absorbed in one another. I let myself wish that it could always be like this. Just me and Jason, no racing against a clock, no ticking time bomb. Without warning he falls out of our embrace and stands up. For a moment I think that he's going to leave me, but he grabs my hand and pulls me up beside him.
I gasp when he roughly pushes me up against the wall, and starts nibbling at my exposed collar bone. He leaves light, feathery kisses, as he makes his way up to my ear. When he gets there his voice in breathless and barely audible over the sound of my heart beating. "I'm sorry you have to bare this with me love..." I could hear the sincerity.
I pushed myself into him, grinding my hips into his. My need for him was growing every second. I tried sliding my hand up under his shirt, but he shook his head and grabbed my wrist. I smile warmly and kiss him, but this kiss is sweet, and short. He's so afraid of touching me now, when he was so rough a minute ago. Like he cant decide what he wants to do with me. My arms find their way around his waist and I say "You don't need to worry about me J."
He still looked unsure, so I kissed his cheek. "Love....", he meant it as a question but I don't think he could get it out because at that moment I tangled my hands in his hair and started sucking at his neck. Next thing I know we're running, hand in hand . Down the dimly lit halls, laughing like two teenagers in love... if only that's what we were.
We get to my room and he shoves the door open, his hands roaming my body before he lays me gently down onto the bed. Now... I cant stop thinking about how afterwards he won't be able to stay with me. We usually lay there, with no space between us, until we're fighting to keep our eyes open. He always has to leave though... because the curse is unpredictable.
He's caught up in me now, his legs on either side of me, leaning down to take my bottom lip between his teeth. I almost- I mean I'm so close to letting him go on... but I just can't. I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and place my hands on his forearms. I take a shaky breath, "J... I'm.. I just...", he nods. He looks down nervously, "Can I stay? Just until you fall asleep..."
I move closer to him, "Please do." He wraps his arms around me. I'm facing away from him, I close my eyes and listen to his breathing. I like feeling the rise and fall of his chest on my back, it reminds that he's still, if only a small bit, human.