Aftermath

A/N : A sequal to 'Monster'. It is an experimental style which I had read over other archieve i.e second person style. It makes you feel everything the character goes through. I think its a success. Do tell me how is it.
****************
I'M ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. That was supposed to be simple mission. That wasn't how it was supposed to go.

You slowly enter the shower with a lost look. Your body is drenched in blood. You limp pitifully since the bullet in your thigh has not found a way out. Your cheeks are scrapped, lips are split. Your body is burned in everynook and cranny due to the brunt of blast you took. You are leaving behind a trail of blood everywhere you go. All the wounds in your body try to close up for self healing, but half a dozen of bullets embedded in your body makes it painfully impossible. It's a miracle that you are still alive and can walk altogether.

The mission was supposed to go happy and dandy. It was supposed to be track, find, kill and out. That was how it was supposed to go. But events did not turn out as it was supposed to. You beat yourself up, you should have known that it wouldn't go as planned. You were supposed to murder only those low life scums of earth. You were supposed to kill only them, so that they would never hurt your child again. But no, it didn't go as it was supposed to. And is driving you nuts. All your life, you had prided yourself for your judgement, your control, your...

And today, you failed it. You feel as if you are not fit for your position. It no longer belongs to you.

You crash dazedly against the cold tiled wall. Cries of pain and despair resonate in your mind. You scream louder to out-scream those cries in your head. You don't succeed. Your legs can not hold you up anylonger. Those innocent eyes pierce your soul.

YOU'VE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG

You want to hear her voice. She has been gone for far too long. You scream again. You scream her name.

"FERALLLLLLL"

You want to hear her scolding you for screwing up so badly. You want to hear anything except the cries of despair of the child you unintentionally orphaned.

Feral had been your constant companion all your life. She had been there for your whole life but now, when you need her most, she is not. You can not stand this. You want anything to drive away those horrible memories. You feel like drowning. Internally, you are trying to do anything, any-damn-thing, to retain your sanity. But...but its slipping.
You want to hear her angry snarls, you want to have your regular banters. You want to have your regular fights which you always pegged as 'loose mind' and 'nutters'.

You can not face your colleuges. You are no longer fit to be their leader.

You are ashamed that during the momentary lapse of judgement, you killed an innocent couple, who happened to be in wrong place in wrong time. And your vengeance, your thirst for the blood of your enemy left behind an orphan. The same age you lost your family, so long ago. In her scared and tear filled eyes you could see your whole life playing out like a movie.

All of sudden you can not breathe, you can not see. Memories of killing the innocent bystander haunts you and you are scared. Oh! what would you give to hear your irritating, bypolar conscience's voice again. Anything to drive this madness.

I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME

You can not hear the commotion outside. All you can see is their horror struck face as breath leaves their lungs. As the young mother fearfully tries to cover her child. All that you can see is their sinless blood splattered across your chest. Their blood stain that stands out from among the others. Other who were cold blooded criminals who were your targets.