No Escape

When It Started

I was in fourth grade when I realized something was different about me. When asked to do anything in front of someone, I physically froze, mentally my mind was racing. I never really thought about this, I thought it was normal. I can't walk in front of people, I can't talk to new people, and if I do, I'm mentally belittling myself. "Oh god, I just said that, now they think I'm stupid."
       My mother was the one to first notice my anxiety.
"Can you grab your sister a tissue? They're over there." I froze. Suddenly the three people in the room multiplied, there was thousands, all waiting for me to make a mistake, ready to pounce like lions when I did.
      My mother told me that I looked like a deer caught in headlights. My eyes wide and my breathing irregular. My real panic attacks didn't come until later. My arms and legs were mush, my mouth forgot how to speak, and I had one very frightened mother that was drawing more attention than I wanted.