Stockholm Syndrome? ✔

S.S 16

By the end of the next week, I had gotten 5 people mad at me. Some were incensed and some were mildly upset with me. I deserve most if not all of it. I'd gone the week in what Stella described as zombie mode. It all started on the evening I got the note from Felix.

1.Stella

Stella came by at exactly 6 pm to help me get dressed. She probably thought I was going to apply makeup too. I heard her shuffling near the door before 6 pm at which she officially knocked. She'd at least respected my 6 pm rule, which was not the Stella I knew. I guess she really wanted me to go out with Damian.

She knocked and knocked. I didn't open the door. She banged, screamed and swore before deciding to call me. I didn't answer. I let my phone ring until it went to voicemail. I just stared at it. I couldn't answer knowing I would just snap. The anger inside me wasn't dying down. It was instead growing.

Stella gave up and went home. She didn't call for at least an hour. She left a disappointed voicemail. I had stood Damian up and she couldn't believe I had done that. Her voicemails alternated from being disappointed to being worried about me.

She asked Alex to check up on me when he returned from work.

Stella and I didn't talk until she cornered me on my way home from soccer practice on Tuesday. I found her waiting at the door of my apartment.

"Finally, I was starting to wither", she said. She was sitting cross-legged at the door in white shorts.

"Can I pass?" I asked nonchalantly.

"No. We have to talk", she said.

I looked up in annoyance. "I don't have to talk but obviously you do, so talk".

"What happened on Saturday?" she asked. She didn't look like she was going to stand up anytime soon.

I didn't say anything.

"Well?" she enquired irritably.

"I didn't say I was going to talk. I said I'd let you talk. If you are done, I'd like to go inside. It's cold out here", I said.

"So that's it? You are going to ignore the fact that you stood a guy up? He waited for you. You didn't even call", she said.

I just looked at her. It was eating me inside that I couldn't tell my best friend why I was acting the way I was. I couldn't tell her about Felix or the note. It was my burden and my burden alone. It was my hands who'd unwittingly shed blood.

I couldn't tell her that. It was going to be a burden for her knowing and me telling her she couldn't do anything about it. She wouldn't understand. Or maybe it was exactly that –her not understanding why I did what I did – that scared me. I couldn't face her harsh judgment. I couldn't have her look at me with eyes that screamed "You are guilty".

I would rather have the friend that was mad at me for standing up her friend. At that time she was looking at me with disappointed eyes.

I was about to say something when the door opened. Alex was standing there with his bag on his shoulder. He had a shift at the coffee shop.

"Hey", he said awkwardly to Stella.

"Hey", she said. "Step over me".

"Are you sure?" he asked uncertainly.

"Yes. You have long legs. But I swear if you step on me I'll reduce those legs to stumps", she said.

Alex bit his lip as he raised his leg over Stella's shoulder and put it slowly on the ground. He did the same with his other leg.