A Love Like War

o n e

SONG OF THE CHAPTER:
Kids In The Dark by All Time Low
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"Jack, hurry up! The show starts in ten minutes!" Alex calls from outside the dressing room.

"I'll be out in a minute!" I call back. I shake out my hair and look into the mirror positioned in front of me. My newly dyed blond streaked reflection stares back with wide eyes. Why did I do this? It looks awful.

#JacksAnIceCreamCone is trending on twitter.

It's a mess.

I huff one last time before pulling a shirt over my bare torso, covering the tattoo on my chest. After taking a deep breath I move to the door.

You are Jack Barakat, I remind myself.

I open the door a crack before peeking my head into the hallway.

Everyone loves you.

I tentatively step outside of the safety behind me and venture towards the stage. The murmur of fans talking and laughing outside echoes into my ears.

You're famous, you have no reason to be nervous.

But I am. I am nervous about the show. It's the first time I've gone on stage since the break-up. The gossip has been tearing me apart, and the future of our band depends on tonight. It depends on me. If I fuck this up our entire band could crumble under the weight of bad publicity.

Another deep breath.

"You ready?" Rian asks as he passes me in the hall. His left hand rests on my upper arm and a watterbottle is held lightly in his right.

"I'm fine." I mumble before offering him a small smile.

"We don't have to do this if you're not ready." He assures me with a sincere look on his face.

"And tell them what? That I'm a pussy who can't move from his bunk? The industry will just eat that up won't they." I snap back irritably.

"Everyone's gone through a rough break-up. They'll understand."

"I'm not everyone else. I'm Jack Barakat. I'm not suppsed to care. I'm suppsed to have just wanted to be in her pants and that was it. The entire relationship was for the paps, it was suppsed to be fake, but it wasn't. Now I have to put up with it. It's okay. I can get through tonight."

"And tomorrow? What will happen then? Jack, we have an entire tour left. If you commit to tonight you're commiting to the entire tour." He shoots back.

I swallow an uncomfortable lump growing in my throat. "I know. I need the distraction." I whisper back before shrugging my arm out of his hold and continuing on towards the stage.

I pick up my matte purple jack skellington guitar and adjust the strap over my shoulder. Making sure it's not connected to the amps I tune the pegs to drop D and turn to Alex with a blank face.

"Ready? We're gonna light this place up." He calls with a grin. I offer a smile back and take another deep breath. I can do this.

"Yeah." I mutter back.

A concerned look crosses his features befre he moves to pull me into a tight hug. "We don't have to do this if you aren't ready." He whispers in my ear.

"I'm fine." I say with as much conviction as I can muster.

He looks me in the eye. "Just be yourself. The fans love you."

"But she didn't." I bite back bitterly under my breath before turning to the stage.

The lights dim further and the screams start.

"That's our cue." Alex mumbles before tossing me my earpiece. "We can do this Jack."

I pull a bright smile onto my face before jogging across the stage. There's calls of my name from the audience, but I tune it all out by pulling my heavyduty stage earbuds up to my ears. I just need to make it through today. We start off the song and halfway through the second verse the first bra has made it's way to stage. I smile at the girl in the audience before picking it up and swinging it over my mic stand. I bounce on the balls of my feet as we enter the second chorus. Alex's voice carries across the arena with confidence and the fans are going nuts, screaming the lyrics back at us with so much love I crack the first real smile of the night. Alex catches sight of me and flashes me a grin before moving into the bridge. His voice has turned to a hush whisper as Rian quits playing, and there's a powerful silence stretches under his notes. Then everyone stops playing, the audience has become so quiet I can hear the static coming through the amps. Then a smirk forms across Alex's face and on three we start up again, louder than before. The crowd screams again and I remind myself why I do this. It isn't just because of how much I love it anymore, although that plays a huge part in it, it's because of the fans. They're the reason I can get out of bed on mornings like today, and I smile again.

A smile that got caught on the cameras above streaming through the arena. A smile so wide I felt something stir in my heart. I haven't smiled like this in a long time.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
It's back up again!!
WATTPAD RECOMENTATION:
Someday, The Waves by misswarrenwrites