Loser | Jojian

One

I wrote this soooo long ago, it's so fucking terrible/cringy and it makes me wanna die. However, I'm going to keep it up, but I'm warning you that it's really gross.

I heard the bell ring as I left the science classroom with all my friends. We were all laughing and shouting. We parted ways and I walked on my own to music class.

I guess I was what you might call "gifted" when it came to music, or at least everybody said so. I could play a ton of instruments, but my favourite was the ukulele.

I had nobody in my main friend group in my music class, but when you're one of the "popular" kids, everybody's pretty much your friend, even if it's fake.

I sat in the front of the class like I always did. I'm basically the teachers pet in all of my classes, which I can tell makes a lot of kids angry, even if they won't admit it because I have such a good reputation.

The teacher was standing at the front of the class, about to start talking when a kid walked in the door. He mumbled an apology about being at the nurse. "That's alright, you can go sit next to Joji." The kid shrugged, sitting next to me and taking something out of his backpack.

"I've got a lot to do today, I'm planning out a new project for you guys." Pretty much everybody in the class groaned, except for me and the kid next to me. "Yes, yes, I know you love my assignments. Treat this as you would a study hall, and if anybody gets to loud I'm sending you to the dean without warning.

I looked over to the boy next to me. I couldn't remember his name, but I definitely remembered seeing him somewhere. I had to admit, he was pretty cute. He pulled out an iPod and earbuds, and I saw his hand was bandaged up and kind of bloody.

"Dude, what happened to your hand?" I asked, tapping him on the shoulder. He looked over to me, confused, although I'm not sure why.

"Oh- I uh, I punched my mirror this morning and cut up my hand pretty badly. I just got it rebandages at the nurse." He said it quietly, not saying anything else.

"Oh wow. That... that sounds like it would be painful. I'm George, by the way, I haven't really formerly introduced myself to you. But call me Joji." He nodded, looking at me still slightly uneasy.

"I'm uh, I'm Ian. Nice to meet you I guess." He didn't talk to me any more, because he was listening to music. I started working on a project for another class. It was only the first day after winter break and I had 3 new assignments already.

I'm not sure why, but I really wanted to talk to this Ian kid some more. He seems interesting, although I don't even know much about him other than he punched a mirror. Also he's cute, although I usually ignore my boy crushes. So what if I'm gay? Doesn't mean I need to date any dudes.

I started dosing off in the middle of a sentence, since this was so boring and hard to understand. I was writing some shit about God knows what for science. The kid looked over at me and took out his earbuds. "Want some help?" He asked, quietly but still loud enough for me to hear.

My head shot up, and I rubbed my eyes looking at the boy. "Sure... thanks." He nodded in response, looking at my paper. He started quietly explaining it, writing down a few things but making me do most of the work.

I really should've been paying more attention to the science than his voice, but it was hard to. Somehow Ian made it that much more interesting. "That's pretty much it. All you have to do now is type it all out and print it." He said, handing me my pencil.

"Thank you so much. I thought I was going to go insane with boredom trying to write this." I laughed, looking at him. He smiled slightly, checking the clock and grabbing his backpack.

"You might want to put your shit away, class is almost over." I nodded, opening up my backpack and placing my ukulele on my lap so it wouldn't break from my books and papers.

He looked at me, confused. "You just casually have a ukulele in your backpack?" He asked. I laughed in response, putting it back and zipping up my black backpack.

"You don't?" I said, standing up just as the bell rung. "See you later, Ian." I walked away before he said anything else, heading off to lunch. I didn't bother going to my locker, since I normally did that during gym. I passed Ian at his locker and almost said something, but kept on going.

Why do I like this boy so much? I wondered. Even when I have a slight guy crush, it's normally just a few moments of lust and it's gone. But I didn't stop thinking about him for the rest of the day.

The final bell rung, and I was at my locker, putting away everything except for my homework and ukulele. My mom was never home to pick me up from school, and I never bothered catching the bus. I always just ended up walking a mile every day to and from school, part of the only reason I was somewhat fit.

I saw Ian sitting on a bench alone while all the busses were gone and it was just kids waiting for their parents. I had to say, I was slightly jealous of all the teens who could still get a ride in high school. My mom stopped driving me when I hit eighth grade, saying I was "old enough" and "responsible enough" to go on my own.

I sat down next to Ian on the bench, a bit closer than people normally do. He didn't seem to notice me until I said something, his head was buried in a book. "Hey." I whispered in his ear, making him jump and turn his head.

He furrowed his eyebrows, bookmarking and closing his book. "What do you want?" He asked, placing the Hobbit next to him on the bench. I smiled at him, hoping he would return it.

"I'm not sure. You seem cool. I just want to hang out with you." Ian just stared at me in response, not saying anything.

"Oh c'mon, stop being such a grumpy wump. Do you want to come over to my house? You'd have to walk a mile, but it's pretty chill there." He finally returned my smile, but only slightly.

"Why are you being nice to me?" He asked. I cocked my head to the side. What did he mean? Was anybody ever not nice to him? I didn't see why anybody would be. He seemed sweet enough.

"I'm not sure what you mean. What reason would I have not to be?" He shrugged, looking away from me. "So... is that a yes or a no to coming over."

He looked at me again, smiling the widest I've seen him smile all day. "Yes."