I had puzzling thought yesterday as I looked back at my life.
I recalled all of my past and preasent best friends
I tried to piece together what had happened to them all
What did i do to lose them one after the other
What part of me was so revolting that even those dearest to me would flee
Why, even then, did I so deserve to be betrayed in such ways
Yet I still collect more friends to add to my regretful list of lost friends
Hoping blindly that one day someone will find true worth in me and stay by my side
Of the twelve best friends ive had in my life I pondered the eight that are now alien to me
Off in some other world it would seem
I payed extra attention however to the four that remain
How I treat them, how we interact, how they make me feel
I try so hard to study myself in these relationships to find my faults
Somehow though, im lost
Within my relationships even when I analyze everything from my gestures and terms of phrase
To my posture and breathing patterns
I cant find it
That one thing that drives everyone so far from me
But as they flee I shall continue in search of my faults
And attempt ever more so to hide it from my new best friends
