And Becoming... [ONE SHOT]

Everyone has secrets. They are usually locked away in that corner of your heart, for proper safekeeping. There are two types of secrets: the first would be the secret that you keep because of a promise to another person, the other one is the secret that you promised yourself to protect that you will take them to the grave without anyone’s involvement. And believe me, the latter takes a lot of effort just to try and pull them out in the open.

I have a secret. It is something I promised myself not to tell anyone. But the tricky thing is, even if it is a secret, I get to decide whether I take it to my grave or put it out there. And if I finally decide what to do with it, it could cost me everything. No, I did not kill anyone. I did not steal anything. My secret is something that is pure, that it could turn an innocent person into beasts that knows no morality.

I was in love. It’s something that grew out of my chest, it kinda crept inside when I least expected it.  It’s like he planted that seed into your heart when you first saw him. But of course, you didn’t know that.

In the days that followed, since you wasn’t aware of that planted seed inside, you ignored it like a passing idea. You even joke about it. And eventually, you unconsciously nurture it. The more you notice him, the more you know him gives that seed a chance to grow. When you go and realize that you have a crush on him that’s when you realize that innocent-looking plant resting in a tiny corner in you heart.

Then it starts growing, day by day. Its leaves getting big and vines are sprouting around. And that’s when you start to notice that your feelings towards him are changing, like a butterfly undergoing metamorphosis. Now, I just used another metaphor didn’t I? Anyway, before you know what is happening, you’ll feel your heart thump like crazy. That’s because that plant has already crept enough that it literally has your heart dancing in the palm of its hand. If it has hands, which is impossible, since it’s a plant we’re talking about here.

That plant has your heart like a prisoner, and he’s its warden. Whenever he comes around, it shakes nervously. But that plant is the very same element that keeps your poise. Then, you have an epiphany. You’ll wake up and say, “OHMYGOD. I LOVE HIM.” For some, that line is something they’ll regret, some will take it as something that you expected but there will be people that will freak out because of it.

And that’s where I’m at. A small bud sits right there in the middle of it all. If I confess, that bud might bloom or wilt, but if I try to keep my feelings locked away, it will be eternally frozen. Things are much crucial since this is my first love we’re discussing here. I sigh at the dreadful thought. It’s like its staring at me in the eyes at point blank range.

I heard a knock at my door. With a jolt, I quickly slammed my diary shut and shoved it under my pillow. Yes, those paragraphs sitting above are an excerpt from today’s diary entry. I pulled the cord on the lamp resting on my left side and lied down on my bed. With the sheets placed right above my head, I pretended to be asleep.

I heard the door creak; I can hear footsteps walking towards the left side of my bed. I shut my eyes under the covers and silently wished that the lamp didn’t look like it was used recently. I listened as the footsteps went into the base of my bed and went on a few steps more. I heard the curtains slide, one by one starting from the farthest up until the nearest window near my bed.

“Reisa-sama, it’s almost time to wake up.”

Ah. It’s him alright. This person’s voice is the first thing I hear when I wake up and the last thing I hear before I go to sleep. His face is also the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning and the last at night. I kinda feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

“Reisa-sama,” I heard the mattress springs’ tiny squeak, it’s like as if somebody placed his weight on it, “Reisa-sama, please wake up.”