How To Drive Away

Prologue

                                                 ✎  B E N ✎

As an incredible driver and someone who has known Kylie his entire life, I can tell you right now that that girl should never, ever, be allowed to drive a car. I'm just being honest here, and if she happens to read this - she'll kill me, but you need some patience, at the very least, when driving. And that is something, sadly, that Kylie has never had. But I won't make you take my word for it, I'll give you an example

Every child has played Hide & Seek, Kylie and I are no exception. Back when we were seven years old, we played it all the time. By the time we were both seven years old and a half (very important to mention the half at that age) the game was dead to the both of us. And who killed it? Kylie. Weapon of choice? Impatience.

Now, we used to count to ten while the other person hid. It's ten numbers - not even that much - but Kylie couldn't do it without including a Would you hurry up? or Why aren't you hiding yet? or a Be-en! You're taking forever! between each number. Usually around seven, she'd either give up with counting and look for me, or give up on the game altogether, throwing one of her epic fits (another reason that girl should not drive). Oh, but that was not all. There was, of course, The Attic Incident, as I like calling it nowadays (though, honestly, I should probably stop calling it that - every time I do, Kylie goes off on a huge rant on how Incident is not the right term and how she still thinks she was right and how it's a stupid game anyway).

                              ✔ THE ATTIC INCIDENT ✔

                       As explained by Ben (primary source)

In which a young, charming, and handsome Ben falls victim to Kylie's impatience and record-breaking short temper. It all began one summer afternoon when the two decided to play a game of Hide & Seek, it is important to note that it was, in fact, Kylie's idea. After a couple rounds without incident, the two were enjoying themselves (this phase can be titled "The Calm Before The Storm") when it was Ben's turn to hide. Kylie made it to number five before going off to find him (using the usual excuse that that was definitely long enough), but Ben did not argue, for he was already hiding. He felt particularly proud of his hiding spot and was sure Kylie would never find him. 

Kylie searched and searched through his parent's house but could not find the clever Ben. Meanwhile, he sat crouched in the attic she did not know existed, (and even if she did - she could probably never find the ladder). Kylie grew aggravated extremely quickly and ran off crying to their parents in the backyard. Ben's dad decided to help the desperate Kylie search for his son. It took a while, but when they finally found him, Kylie screamed and screamed that it was unfair and jammed the door to the attic. With Ben in there. It took three hours, and breaking the attic door to get Ben out of there, and, then (Ben will never understand how) he was told to apologize to Kylie.

                              ✔ THE ATTIC INCIDENT ✔

And that was The Attic Incident. I'd like you to please take a moment now and imagine that girl behind a wheel.

Scary, isn't it?

Road rage would take on a whole new meaning, people would get run over, flipped off, screamed at, crashed into, and blamed for all of the above. It is a terrifying picture, and one I've imagined too much.

Don't get me wrong, I love Kylie, she was my best friend basically my entire childhood, and when she came back we still got a long. I just love Kylie a lot more when she doesn't have control of a humongous machine that could kill people.