Book one
-genesis , the creation
Before there was anything in existence there was Lindsay, and her angels. Lindsay was Growing tired of being alone. So she decided to make others to join her. On the first day she made vodka in the hopes of drowning her sorrows. She did not succeed.
So on the second day she made a substance called "cocaine" and she used it to its full extent. On the third day she made an earth. It was boring and barren so on the fourth day she made the sea. On the fifth day she made all the little shits that roam around.
on the sixth day she made two beings in her image. the male was called Arnold and the female was called Edna. she told them "i have created you and all the shit around now I'm letting both of you little shits roam around and do the thing." but Lindsay only had one rule. "do not eat the thing from the tree of wisdom or i will have to cut a bitch" and so it was done god had created life, she decided to let them be so they can do what the hell they wanted to do.
''Arnold! get your get your ratchet ass over here goddamn." and so edna and Arnold roamed by themselves. Edna's bitch ass decided it would be nice to go to the tree of the thing.while she was admiring its beauty she noticed this Little snake bitch pop out of the tree. she was startled. she asked "who the fuck do you think you are jumping out and scaring me like that, goddamn little snake bitch foreal bitch you wanna get cut?" calm your tits Edna shit im just here enjoying myself and your fat ass fucking came out like a damn whale. its called a diet honey use it. why dont you eat this forbidden thing from dat tree.
"um god said that shits forbidden but what the hell yolo" the serpent relied "k lol" that hoe Edna suddenly started to realize the truth of life. she asked " what is your name?" " my name is kim kardashian or satan." lol swag. Edna went back to find Arnold and she showed him the thing. " Edna what the fuck are you doing with that shit" here Arnold try some, Edna replied. " um bitch you better back the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up" goddamn Arnold just eat the damn thing. "k lol". Lindsay soon found out and said " what the flying fuck, I'm not trying to be racist but why did you eat the thing??"
"how is that racist Edna replied. " she just said shes not being racist do you even listen? shut the fuck up Arnold, looking like a trashy ass redneck. bitch you need to calm those damn tits. whateves YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE. RIDE OR DIE ARNOLD RIDE OR DIE. "what" Arnold replied "what". Lindsay was filled with anger. now that you betrayed me you better shut the fuck up and get the fuck out. i told you ima cut a bitch.
"just then Lindsay commanded Amanda bynes her bottom bitch to go down and fuck some shit up. Arnold and Edna ran out of the garden and into the wilderness. lost and confused, Kim kardashian or other wise known as "Satan" appeared "lmao you fucktards got kicked out". So Edna and Arnold went out trying to find shelter.
