What we didn't know

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The December air was bitter that evening, and I contemplated if I was making the right decision to leave my house. Normally I was quite fond of winter. I loved finding warmth in the cold, the flickering lights, the holidays bringing people together, curling up next to a burning fire, and on a very rare occasion the beauty snowfall brings. It was during this time that the atmosphere changed drastically. Anyone could see that this was the season of love, and not just the romantic type.

However, this winter wasn't like the rest. The weather had been rather warm lately. Although everyone said it was because we lived in Texas, in the back of my mind I knew it was related to climate change and global warming. I was that person. Beside from the disappointing weather, I had been cooped up in my room for days only leaving when absolutely necessary. I was feeling a bit like scrooge, and as much as I hated the negativity, I couldn't help it. When I was around my family, friends, beloved one, I gave my best attempt to fake a smile. Pushing through the struggles I faced was almost useless.

The problems had started weeks ago, no months. However, in the past two weeks things rapidly escalated in a downward spiral. I was unraveling, and this time there was no stringing things together in a sad attempt to fix the issues. I knew what I needed to do and it was the exact opposite of what I wanted to do. I was close to finding myself, yet when I was shown the path I needed to be on I regrettably pulled away. This happened every time. It was an unbreakable pattern I had fallen into and desperately needed to escape.

So for the first time in days, I found myself outside aimlessly wondering the streets with no particular destination in mind. My hood draped over my face and I gazed at my feet the entire walk. I hugged my jacket close to my frail body paying no attention to anything except the clutter in my mind.

A quick buzz coming from the back of my pocket pulls me out of my heavy daze. Without hesitation, I reach for my phone and check my notifications. There's a single text displayed on the screen that reads:

What happened last night?

It was a fair question. For some reason I found myself growing annoyed the more I read the simple text over and over again. Irritated, I placed the phone back into my pocket ignoring the message and continued my walk down the street. I felt another four vibrations, one right after the other.

You were supposed to call me.

Hello?

Are you ignoring me?

I haven't seen you in days.

It wasn't like me to blatantly ignore him like this. I hadn't been feeling myself lately and I thought he would be able to take the hint. I didn't want to talk, at least not to him. He wasn't just part of the problem, he was the problem. We were the problem, one without a solution. Space wasn't something he was familiar with, that was clear when my phone began ringing full volume. His ringtone was a song that I once adored. Every time it went off I lit up with excitement. Now the song only brought tainted memories, sorrow, and disgust, though I would never tell him that.

"Hello," I answered in a melancholy tone.

"What happened last night?" He asked.

At this point I had stopped walking all together. With the freezing device pressed against my flushed face, I leaned against a brick wall belonging to an unfamiliar store. The line was silent as I stared at the dirt clinging to my vans drifting off into another world.

"I fell asleep," I answered after several unbearable moments. That was a lie. I was up late last night letting my artistic creativeness come to life. It was times like these when I turned to my passion to seek comfort. I would lose myself in the art form and yet still find myself. To my dismay, I knew I would eventually return to reality where my problems still awaited.