Corin loved seeing Fern in her clothes. She's always tell Fern how lovely she looked, and how much she'd forever treasure her.
I met Jay at the train tracks separating our streets that night. As I walked, the tips of my converse kicked up murky rain water that plopped back down onto the shining Tarmac. My fringe swept over my brow occasionally as I watched them, and the light of the crimson street lamps glistened through the deep navy and blue shades. I heard the familiar squeaky creaks of the same worn-through, chestnut, faux leather brogues that Jay had been lacing for the past 3 years, and my head rose slowly to see his figure moving towards me. As I approached one side of the tracks, the warning lights showed to tell me a train would be coming soon, and the gates began to lower. I waited behind them, knowing Jay would do the same.
Once the train had whipped my fringe across my face and disappeared into the darkness ahead of it, Jayden and I made and maintained perfect eye contact as the barriers lifted. He approached me, and slinked his fingers around my wrist before pulling me across to our favourite park bench. The bench was tucked under the biggest willow you'd ever seen, and overlooked a river. The tracks ran on a bridge over the river and made droplets fall into the water as the train shook it. Needless to say, the bench was much more pleasant when it wasn't pitch black and soaked, and the tree itself wasn't dripping rain water down your neck every few seconds.
Through the impenetrable darkness, Jay spoke.
"You love her, don't you, Corin?"
"This isn't about me, is it, Jayden?"
He sighed, a long, meaningless sigh. A sigh that didn't hold frustration, exhaustion, anger or even love or infatuation. It was simply an over exaggerated breath.
"Fine. We both know what I want out of this, and we both know that I don't care who I hurt in the process. However-"
"I do."
"Yes, you do. You wouldn't let me hurt Fern, and I wouldn't, because it would be just about the last thing I did."
"Jay," I began, "I'm going to kiss Tommi."
"yeah okay and-" Jay began to agree, though I felt him tense beside me, "Wait no, what? I'm the one who's going to get Tommi?"
"Yes, I'll kiss them, so Fern leaves them and is angry at me. Tommi won't come to me to get Fern back, because they'll hate me and so will Fern. However, if you're still friends with Fern..."
"...They'll use me as a way in." He finished.
"Precisely."
"Genius."
"Save it, sweet cheeks."
He reached through the dark and punched my arm lightly, before we stood up and walked out from under the tree. I looked over at Jay as we entered the light again to see him squinting at the street lamps, taking in the light his eyes had lacked for a while.
"Jay?"
"Yeah?" He responded gently, turning to face me and letting his eyes flicker betwixt mine.
"Never mind." I sighed, and he seemed to accept that as he looked away a moment later. I studied him for a while, thinking of the fact i hadn't seen a smile reach his eyes for a while, noticing the way his shoulders drooped, how he looked at the ground when he talks, how his ears pricked up like he's being dragged from a daydream when someone spoke to him, how his hands were always in his pockets, how quick he was to cry when i said, "we're all rather fucking depressed really, aren't we?"
"Yeah," he laughed through (probably unintentional) tears, "yeah, we are."
"I miss him."
"I miss him too."
I slinked my hand into Jay's, and swung our arms a little bit as we kept walking towards his house.
"Do you think he'd have been angry at us, Rin?" Jay sliced through the silence, stopping the swinging of our arms momentarily.
"What for, Jayden?" I asked, swinging them once again.
"For how we've acted since he's been gone? Look at us: you and Fern didn't talk for months because of me, i beat you up in a hallway, i beat his little sister to a pulp, i screamed at you and told you never to talk to me again. We've all been bloody messes, Cos, me especially."
This time i stopped the swinging and said, "And what are we doing now?"
He shrugged and said, "Well, fucking up Fern's life really, aren't we?"
"Could put it that way."
"What'll happen when you kiss Tommi, Cos? Fern's going to hate you. I don't know if they'll trust me if i'm still friends with you-"
"Hey, Daniels, we'll do whatever it takes, okay?"
"And what about after? When Fern hates me because I'm finally with Tommi and Fern hates you for kissing him. Then what? How do we fix that?"
"You know us, Jay," I sighed, "We're the fire four, we always find a way back to each other."
He sighed too, and continued to swing our arms. We walked and walked and walked in the most comfortable of thought-provoked silences for what felt like decades before getting to Jay's window. I gave him a foot up and he hoisted himself through the window, before reaching a hand out to get me too.
"What's Inferno up to? It'd be nice to have the three of us together again tonight." He asked me.
"She's probably at home," I began, before another thought crossed my mind, "Or... she's at Tommi's?"
"Are you suggesting we do this now?" He asked in disbelief.
"Why not? May as well."
"Because, we only devised the plan today! We need time to plan the approach as well, Rinners."
I teased him about not being able to keep a consistent nickname for me, before the teasing turned into a tickling fest. Once he'd regained his breath, and huffed and puffed about the fact i'm not ticklish, he called Fern. He explained that we should possibly 'test the waters'; invite Fern to be with us rather than Tommi, to see how dedicated she is to either party.
He talked to her for a while, whilst i stared upwards at the stars above Jay's bed.
"Her loyalties lay elsewhere."
"What, like Tommi's bed?" I winked at him.
"Shut up, you sket, and pick a film." He laughed back at me, shaking his head and demanding Netflix. I wasn't going to object.
Corin always chose films depending on how she could use it to manipulate the emotions of who she was with, and how she could use that to her advantage.
