Best Mates// Jaspar (Joe Sugg x Caspar Lee)

caspar's explanation

Caspar's POV

I'm the worst bloody roommate anyone could ask for. As the week has gone by, I watched Joe look at me the way he is right now.

He sits on the couch, I sit on the chair next to it. His eyes dropped when he realized I wasn't going to lay across the sofa with my head in his lap. He then went back to typing on his phone.

As we watched tv he looked at me.
He looked at me with pure confusion.
I watch him through my peripheral vision as he bites on his necklace and stares holes through my body.

Joe only bites his necklace when he's thinking hard or anxious.

My heart races with guilt so I start to say, "Joe.."

"Caspar, what the f*ck is wrong? Did I do something?" he finally urges in a harsh tone.

"No." I sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Then why have you been acting so.. distant?" Joe asks, still biting the small necklace that hangs from his neck.

"Did you know that all our friends think you and I are dating?"

Joe's eyes widen. "No?"

"Well they do. What would you think if you saw two of your friends cuddling, holding hands.. basically acting like we do?"

The small boy sighs loudly. The room goes silent, i count for 2 minutes before he speaks, making his voice low, " Yeah man, you're right." Joe runs his hands through his soft luscious hair, his eyes wandering the room.

"I am?" I ask. Why do I feel disappointed that he agrees? What was he supposed to say? I don't know..

My older friend continues, "I thought it was just us being lads, but yeah, you- they're right. Sorry that i became so.. I don't know. I agree Casp." He stumbles with his words, but I just nod.

"Yeah." I grit my teeth awkwardly.

"Anyways." Joe laughs. "Fifa?"

Joe's POV

For the past past days, I've been empty.
I've been so happy and high on life for a long time, that's the plus of living with your bestfriend.

For the past six days, I've been anxiously waiting for Caspar to interrupt me from editing just to cuddle, or for his hand to creep into mine when we sit near each other in meetings.

For the past six days I stayed up late to see if Caspar would come into my room. He hates sleeping without me, or so he's said.

None of its happened, but I understand now.

I didn't realize we acted like boyfriends, I can pull hella chicks, it's not like I'm gay.

But I didn't realize that without Caspar I feel empty. He's been my happy place.

He wants that to change so I guess I do too.

The tall boy and I finish our game, I win 9 nil and I make a stupid joke about how Caspar sucks, and he pretends to cry. I would usually pet his hair, "don't cry love." I would say, playing along, kissing his forehead.

This time I don't. I get up with a forced smile, and go into my room. I lay on my bed starring at nothing for hours. For some reason all my happy has been drained out of me.. and I want him to come back