The Young and Ratchet

Chapter one

The bell rings with heinous shrill making La-a jump from her seat and land face down on the dirt covered thousand-year old tile.

"Gosh dangit, America! My butt had just warmed up the piece of cardboard!" she complains referring to the girl next to her.

"Gosh dangit? Really La-a? Who raised you?"

"Hey, I'm just trying to make my way into heaven." she laughs and shakes her freshly added weave.

"Girl please! You already blew those chances and you know it." America shimmies out of her desk nearly getting stuck. "Hey baby do these jeans make me look fat?"

La-a looks her down impressed with America's progress. She must have gained ten pounds in the past two months.

"Heck to the yes! You just be about the fattest heifer in this whole school!"

" Oh thank the good lard! I bought a size smaller to fill out my thunder thighs. Ain't I just a panty dropper?"

"You could turn 'em! Have you gained weight?" La-a looks her best friend over one more time with jealousy. Why couldn't she be naturally stocky like her? It wasn't fair.

"Oh you cow! thanks for noticing!" she swats the air like she's flushed just as the door loose on it's hinges flys open. It slams into the wall leaving a dent.

"Oh sorry about that kids." a middle aged man blushes clearly embaresd.

"Oh it's fine doll face! My booty would have made a dent there sooner or later anyways! And twice the size!" Shaniqua smacks her bee stung lips together obnoxiously.

The man eyes her awkwardly before continuing. " My name is Mr. Kay. I am your substitute teacher."

"Um ya Mr. sir i's got a question."

"Yes miss..."

" You can just call me Big pleaser. That's what my home girls call me. Ain't need no formal. We ain't about that life."

He looks down at an attendance record his cheeks brighter than ever. His eyes only leave the torn sheet after he's found her real name.

"What's your question Cinnamon?"

"Uh ya. Can we call you by the first letter of your name?"

"My name is Mr. Kay." he gives her a dumbfounded look

"Ya can we just call you Mr. k instead of Mr. Kay. It just be easier to do. "

"Really?" his face scrunches up.

"For serious. It just be easier." others nod I agreement.

A severely unimpressed Mr.Kay sighs and turns back to the chalk board. "fine." he says it like he can't believe what just happend.

He lets out a steamy breath of carbon dioxide before continuing.

"I will presume to take role call."

"Sugar what does purrr-sum mean?" a boy squints from the back of the room.

"This is tenth grade ligature isn't it?" Mr. Kay runs his hands through his neat and evenly combed light hair.

The class responds with a unanimous dumbfounded stare. lids heavy over their eyes. lips and chest all puffed out like some dumb mating frog on steroids.

"Raymond?"

"Here."

"Princess?"

"Present."

"Diamond-Sparkles?"

"Mmmhmm."

"America?"

"Shaniqua La-quefa?"

"Oh you know I'm here baby."

"La-a?"

Not a second later La-a's dark hand is pressed against her forehead.

"Something wrong ladies?" Mr. Kay looks up curiously.

"No it-"

"Yah um Mr. dude sir, you are being highly dis-respectaful to my best friend." America waves a stocky finger in the air like she's swatting a pest.

"What's wrong?"

"You. You be what's wrong!" she slams upwards her fat jiggling around her like a grotesque, frumpy halo."

"Whoa miss. Lets just take a seat."

"That's miss America to you bucko! Home of the brave! We represent!" he snaps her fingers making the room rattle.

"Wha-"

"You said dear La-a's name wrong."

"Well how did I saw it?" his face goes slightly clamy. It's obvious he's not comfortable in this situation.

"You said La-a. Sounds like luh-huh."

"And. . ."

"The dash don't be silenced!"

"La-"dash"- ah groans letting her head slam against a graffiti filled cardboard like desk for the third time this week.

Every time. Every single time. She's sounded by idiots. Substitute teachers, their like devil servants.