Dumb Fanfic Moments

Kill me pls

-I was dying of A coma in my shed/37 story closet playing on my iPhone 97 1/2+ with my butler Zayn Malik feeding me.
*facepalm*
-I stared into Luke's Sea of orbs.
Sea? Orbs? Just leave pls thanks
-I woke up at 6:00am so I'm not late to school. So in that hour I took a shower curled my hair put on natural make up, as in bright red lipstick black eyeshadow and a smokey eye look I also had time to make my brother Ashton Irwin a omelette. I made me one too than I drove 5 miles per hour to school which is half an hour away and I made it too geography class 40 minutes late but no detention!
What the actual f*ck
-As I sat down in geography class mr Jefferson said "class this is Michael he's from Australia" Michael rolled his eyes and greeted the class with a "Hey." Mr Jefferson assigned his seat next to mine, he was wearing all black with a leather jacket and had tattoos everywhere but his butt. Not that I would know
I swear I'm dead.
-Phil waltzed in the room as I sat down and played flappy bird "hey Dan wanna make a sims video?" "No I wanna fuck" Dan said.
Oh god...